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Title: Exclusive: We Have Acquired A Copy Of Joe Biden's Debate Prep Notes
Source: Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/exclusi ... y-joe-bidens-debate-prep-notes
Published: Sep 28, 2020
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2020-09-29 00:20:50 by Deckard
Keywords: None
Views: 94
Comments: 3

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a daring feat of undercover journalism, The Babylon Bee's embedded DC reporter has acquired a leaked copy of Joe Biden's debate prep notes. We are proud to introduce them to the world for the first time. Please enjoy. Many undercover journalists died to bring us this information.

Here they are in all their glory:

The pictured scan has been translated for you below:


(page 1)

My Debate Notes:

Reminder: You are JOE BIDEN and you are running for PRESIDENT

You're from SCRANTON

You used to be VP with Obama

ORANGE MAN BAD

Answer Key:

  • Hunter & Ukraine = "Come on, man!"
  • Taxes & Jobs = "Look, here's the deal."
  • Emergency use only = "You're a lying, dog-faced pony soldier!"
  • If you get lost = "You know, the thing!"

Reminders:

  • Tug on your left ear and Chris Wallace will throw you a softball
  • Go backstage between commercials for MORE DRUGS!
  • Don't forget to tell Corn Pop story

Ideas:

  • Push up contest?
  • Punching and slapping?

(page 2)

Give the Gettyzburg Address!

(complete transcript of the Gettysburg Address)

My favorite Hair (for inspiration)

(three doodles of women with different hairstyles)

**NO SNIFFING OF HAIR**

(even if you want to)


The Babylon Bee was also able to acquire Trump's debate prep notes, but it was just a napkin on which he had written, "You are amazing, go get 'em tiger!" (2 images)

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#1. To: Liberator, Stoner, sneakypete, A K A Stone, misterwhite, Gatlin, watchman, Hank Rearden (#0)

I thought about posting this under "Humor" but it is really closer to reality.

Government is in the last resort the employment of armed men, of policemen, gendarmes, soldiers, prison guards, and hangmen.
The essential feature of government is the enforcement of its decrees by beating, killing, and imprisoning.
Those who are asking for more government interference are asking ultimately for more compulsion and less freedom.

Deckard  posted on  2020-09-29   0:23:53 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Deckard (#1)

I'm still not convinced the debate is going to happen.

In the entire history of the world,the only nations that had to build walls to keep their own citizens from leaving were those with leftist governments.

sneakypete  posted on  2020-09-29   3:20:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: sneakypete (#2)

I'm still not convinced the debate is going to happen.

Yep, I've been hearing that a lot lately. Call me a conspiracy theorist but some kind of false flag event shouldn't be ruled out.

Maybe a riot in Cleveland, then the mayor proclaims it to be an emergency and cancels the debate.

Government is in the last resort the employment of armed men, of policemen, gendarmes, soldiers, prison guards, and hangmen.
The essential feature of government is the enforcement of its decrees by beating, killing, and imprisoning.
Those who are asking for more government interference are asking ultimately for more compulsion and less freedom.

Deckard  posted on  2020-09-29   4:31:29 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


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