|
"Does the Biden Cover-Up Have Two Layers?"
"Pete Rose, 'Shoeless' Joe Reinstated by MLB, Eligible for HOF"
"'Major Breakthrough': Here Are the Details on the China Trade Deal"
Freepers Still Love war
Parody ... Jump / Trump --- van Halen jump
"The Democrat Meltdown Continues"
"Yes, We Need Deportations Without Due Process"
"Trump's Tariff Play Smart, Strategic, Working"
"Leftists Make Desperate Attempt to Discredit Photo of Abrego Garcia's MS-13 Tattoos. Here Are Receipts"
"Trump Administration Freezes $2 Billion After Harvard Refuses to Meet Demands"on After Harvard Refuses to Meet Demands
"Doctors Committing Insurance Fraud to Conceal Trans Procedures, Texas Children’s Whistleblower Testifies"
"Left Using '8647' Symbol for Violence Against Trump, Musk"
KawasakiÂ’s new rideable robohorse is straight out of a sci-fi novel
"Trade should work for America, not rule it"
"The Stakes Couldn’t Be Higher in Wisconsin’s Supreme Court Race – What’s at Risk for the GOP"
"How Trump caught big-government fans in their own trap"
‘Are You Prepared for Violence?’
Greek Orthodox Archbishop gives President Trump a Cross, tells him "Make America Invincible"
"Trump signs executive order eliminating the Department of Education!!!"
"If AOC Is the Democratic Future, the Party Is Even Worse Off Than We Think"
"Ending EPA Overreach"
Closest Look Ever at How Pyramids Were Built
Moment the SpaceX crew Meets Stranded ISS Crew
The Exodus Pharaoh EXPLAINED!
Did the Israelites Really Cross the Red Sea? Stunning Evidence of the Location of Red Sea Crossing!
Are we experiencing a Triumph of Orthodoxy?
Judge Napolitano with Konstantin Malofeev (Moscow, Russia)
"Trump Administration Cancels Most USAID Programs, Folds Others into State Department"
Introducing Manus: The General AI Agent
"Chinese Spies in Our Military? Straight to Jail"
Any suggestion that the USA and NATO are "Helping" or have ever helped Ukraine needs to be shot down instantly
"Real problem with the Palestinians: Nobody wants them"
ACDC & The Rolling Stones - Rock Me Baby
Magnus Carlsen gives a London System lesson!
"The Democrats Are Suffering Through a Drought of Generational Talent"
7 Tactics Of The Enemy To Weaken Your Faith
Strange And Biblical Events Are Happening
Every year ... BusiesT casino gambling day -- in Las Vegas
Trump’s DOGE Plan Is Legally Untouchable—Elon Musk Holds the Scalpel
Palestinians: What do you think of the Trump plan for Gaza?
What Happens Inside Gaza’s Secret Tunnels? | Unpacked
Hamas Torture Bodycam Footage: "These Monsters Filmed it All" | IDF Warfighter Doron Keidar, Ep. 225
EXPOSED: The Dark Truth About the Hostages in Gaza
New Task Force Ready To Expose Dark Secrets
Egypt Amasses Forces on Israel’s Southern Border | World War 3 About to Start?
"Trump wants to dismantle the Education Department. Here’s how it would work"
test
"Federal Workers Concerned That Returning To Office Will Interfere With Them Not Working"
"Yes, the Democrats Have a Governing Problem – They Blame America First, Then Govern Accordingly"
"Trump and His New Frenemies, Abroad and at Home"
|
Status: Not Logged In; Sign In
Humor
See other Humor Articles Title: Nevada Church Avoids Coronavirus Restrictions By Installing Slot Machines
Source:
Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/nevada- ... strictions-by-installing-slots
Published: Jul 26, 2020
Author: Babylon Bee
Post Date: 2020-07-27 06:57:11 by Deckard
Keywords: None
Views: 1989
Comments: 8
CARSON CITY, NV—Calvary Chapel of the Desert was informed by the state that it was violating the state's strict restrictions on church gatherings. So, Pastor Chuck Carver figured out a clever way around the stringent requirements: he installed slot machines in the church, and now his church is able to do whatever it wants. 
"We put up the slot machines and bam -- no more restrictions," Carver said Sunday. "The authorities dispersed, and we pretty much get to do whatever we want. What happens in Calvary Chapel stays in Calvary Chapel." He then preached a solemn sermon in front of the blinking lights and blaring sirens from the slots. "Yeah, it looks kinda goofy," he said later. "But it's no different than when I have to preach in front of our zany VBS decorations." "Plus, it's making up for all the lost tithing over the last few months," he added as another senior church member slipped another quarter into one of the machines. "Jackpot!" Anyone playing the slot machines will, of course, be served complimentary grape juice and crackers.
(1 image) Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 5.
#1. To: Deckard (#0)
| | Nevada Church Avoids Coronavirus Restrictions By Installing Slot Machines |
But will the slot machines prevent the blessed parishioners from getting the COVID-19 virus? We shall see … It hasn’t with the slot machines in the casinos. |
#5. To: Gatlin (#1)
Nevada Church Avoids Coronavirus Restrictions By Installing Slot Machines But will the slot machines prevent the blessed parishioners from getting the COVID-19 virus? Uh...this didn't really happen. It's called "satire" which is why it was posted under Humor. Oh, I see why you are here, posting more of your gloom and doom cooked covid numbers At least 123 visitors to Nevada test positive for coronavirus after casinos reopen I can hear Gatlin wailing: "Casinos are death traps-shut them down, woe is us, it's those damn mask scofflaws that done did this" Schmuck!
Replies to Comment # 5.
#6. To: Deckard (#5)
Uh...this didn't really happen. It's called "satire" Whoa! Bitch slappin' ole Gatlin...that's elder abuse! Oh, well. Carry on.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 5.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
|
