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Title: Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
Source:
Babylonian Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/pence-c ... election-to-stymie-coronavirus
Published: Mar 11, 2020
Author: Staff
Post Date: 2020-03-11 10:32:42 by IbJensen
Keywords: None
Views: 1406
Comments: 6
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In real news that totally actually happened, President Trump has announced that in the interest of public safety, the 2020 presidential election has been canceled. “It’s just too risky,” President Trump told the press while standing behind a sneeze guard. “We’ll get all these people gathered together at rallies or lined up to vote, and they’re all going to get sick. And Bernie and Biden -- they’re just so old. Sending them around crowds campaiging is basically trying to murder them. Anyway, it just seems pointless for a bunch of people to die when everyone knows I was going to win anyway.” Trump has been a divisive figure in the past, but so far everyone has agreed with this move. The New York Times, which usually opposes absolutely everything Trump does, wrote an editorial in support of canceling the election. “It’s a smart, science-driven move,” the editorial said. “As important as democracy is, it’s just not worth dying over.” Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders also seemed very relieved by the announcement, as they’re both very tired and worried about getting sick. Sanders was especially happy, telling the press, “You know, for a few moments there, it really seemed like I might win, and I didn’t know what was going to happen if people actually expected me to follow through on all that free stuff.” Sanders is now deciding in which of his three houses to self-quarantine.
Poster Comment: What does 'woke' mean? Now everybody's using it except me.
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#1. To: IbJensen (#0)
I'd prefer "postponed indefinitely".
No thank you...MUD
"Devolve Power Outta the Federal Leviathan!!"
Good article...they are out-Onioning The Onion.
"Devolve Power Outta the Federal Leviathan!!"
I guess Donnie Asshat hasn't figured out that means he has to leave the office vacant....
I suppose, you can take appropriate control and authority. My GOD, you are the "asshat" that you claim Trump is all about.
Willie, Willie, Willie......I done tol' ya and tol' ya to wear you hat to keep you brains from fallin ouua you pointed haid!
Liberals are like Slinkys. They're good for nothing, but somehow they bring a smile to your face as you shove them down the stairs.
Trump Cancels 2020 Election Over Coronavirus Concerns
#2. To: misterwhite (#1)
#3. To: IbJensen (#0)
#4. To: IbJensen (#0)
Trump has announced that in the interest of public safety, the 2020 presidential election has been canceled.
#5. To: Willie Green (#4)
I guess Donnie Asshat hasn't figured out that means he has to leave the office vacant....
#6. To: Willie Green (#4)
I guess Donnie Asshat hasn't figured out that means he has to leave the office vacant..
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