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Here’s how it would work" test "Federal Workers Concerned That Returning To Office Will Interfere With Them Not Working" "Yes, the Democrats Have a Governing Problem – They Blame America First, Then Govern Accordingly" "Trump and His New Frenemies, Abroad and at Home" "The Left’s Sin Is of Omission and Lost Opportunity" "How Trump’s team will break down the woke bureaucracy" Pete Hegseth will be confirmed in a few minutes "Greg Gutfeld Cooks Jessica Tarlov and Liberal Media in Brilliant Take on Trump's First Day" "They Gave Trump the Center, and He Took It" Status: Not Logged In; Sign In Humor See other Humor Articles Title: Pope Announces Any Time Spent Watching 'The View' Counts As Time Served In Purgatory Source: The Babylon Bee URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/pope-an ... ts-as-time-served-in-purgatory Published: Oct 16, 2019 Author: The Babylon Bee Post Date: 2019-10-18 12:42:41 by Deckard Keywords: None Views: 1186 Comments: 11 VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has made one of his official, Popey announcements. (For our Protestant audience, a declaration from the pope is kinda like when Russell Moore tweets something; it carries a lot of weight for Catholics.) Anyway, the pope declared that any time you've spent watching The View in this life will count as time served in purgatory. "Frankly, if you watch those women bickering, that's punishment enough," said Pope Francis in a speech. He declared that your time will be tallied up by the angels, who will then mark that off as though you'd spent the time in purgatory. The pope said the exchange rate for time is about 1 hour of The View for a "good six months" of purification in purgatory. "Exchange rates fluctuate, of course, and it depends on the episode," he remarked. "An episode with Alyssa Milano or Chelsea Clinton is obviously worth a lot more than a regular episode." The show's ratings saw a small bump after the announcement but ticked back down when Catholics realized they'd rather just spend time in purgatory. (1 image) Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread   Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 3. #1. To: Deckard (#0) At least with JP2 (in his prime) or B16, you at least thought Rome had a real pope. This guy has all the holiness of Father Guido Sarducci. Every time I see him, I think it's Ed McMahon with a new Publishers Clearing House ad. Tooconservative  posted on  2019-10-18   15:12:02 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply   #2. To: Tooconservative (#1) I like this Pope. Sedevacantists bore me. Vicomte13  posted on  2019-10-18   23:28:23 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply   #3. To: Vicomte13 (#2) Choosing Francis as his name-de-pope was incredibly obnoxious. Tooconservative  posted on  2019-10-19   0:02:03 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply   Replies to Comment # 3. #4. To: Tooconservative (#3) I would've chosen "Lucifer" myself, as I would be bringing light to all. Pope Lucifer, the first of his name. Vicomte13  posted on  2019-10-20 01:16:31 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply   End Trace Mode for Comment # 3. Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest

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