Humor
See other Humor Articles
Title: 'Friends, you're going to love Greenland. I was there on 9/11'
Source:
AE Daily/The Guardian
URL Source: https://www.aedaily.net/en-gb/posts ... -greenland-i-was-there-on-911/
Published: Aug 17, 2019
Author: Nancy Pick i
Post Date: 2019-08-17 10:33:08 by Deckard
Keywords: None
Views: 397
Comments: 1
Manhattan? I’d’ve got Staten Island too for half the guilders. Louisiana? Bum deal. But Alaska? I’m giving that back to Russia
WASHINGTON (AP) – President Donald Trump tweeted today he had purchased Greenland from the Kingdom of Denmark for $15bn plus Kanye West and the state of Massachusetts.
Still, the announcement has been questioned abroad. Prime minister of Greenland Kim Kielsen, reached this morning before the sun set for the winter, commented: “Clearly, the president’s mind is melting faster than our ice sheet.”
Danish prime minister Mette Frederiksen tried to strike a diplomatic note, saying: “May God deliver us from this delusional maniac.”
These comments did not stop the president taking a victory lap before an enthusiastic audience at a campaign-style rally in West Virginia.
A partial transcript of the president’s remarks follows:
I’ve heard the critics on the socialist left. They say $15bn, that’s a lot of money that we could better spend sending hate mail to children in Israel. Well, I have a surprise for you. Guess how much this is going to cost the American taxpayer? The answer my friends – zero! Nothing! Nada! All costs will be paid for by tariffs on CHINESE dumplings! It’s true, not ONE CENT!
[Cheers and chants of “Not ONE CENT!]
The Green people – such fine, wonderful upstanding people. They’re all eager to become Americans – not like Democrats! And the country – so clean. Reykjavik, what a city. Not like Londonstan and Stockholmbad. No crime, no rats, no dwarf Islamist mayor! And don’t let that name confuse you, Greenland. The fact is, my friends, it’s not very Green. In fact, it’s white – very, very white.
[More cheers and chants of “Green is the new white!”]
People are calling it the greatest deal in American history – maybe all of history. People are saying that only Trump could have made this deal. Maybe so, I don’t know. I guess it’s true, if everyone is saying it, I mean, I suppose it’s true. All I know is the Dutch paid, what, 60 guilders for Manhattan? I could have gotten it for 30 with Staten Island thrown in.”
And the Louisiana purchase? Napoleon fleeced Jefferson! 512 million acres for $15m? It sounds like a great deal, but I could have done better, I could have done better. Could have got Texas, too, for not another penny. Now there is one deal I feel bad about. Alaska. Folks, I hate to say it, but we kind of stole it from the Russians. They needed our dollars back in 1867 so we got a lot of land for what – two cents on the acre. That’s not a deal my friends, that’s robbery. Now you know I’m a good guy, a great guy – [wild cheers] – and frankly that deal troubles me. It does. So today, I called my friend Vladimir Putin and said, ‘Vlad, you can have it back. You can have Alaska back.’”
[Cheers and chants of “No collusion, no obstruction.!”]
[Chants of “Lock her up!]
But I’ll tell you something. Crooked Hillary –
[chorus of boos]
Crooked Hillary, know what she wanted to buy? Haiti! She wanted to make Haiti the 51st state in America. And then she wanted to buy Africa, too, the whole continent. So sad. And criminal.
More on: www.theguardian.com (1 image)
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
This Greenland or was PDJT referring to this?
In 2014, Clinton & De Blasio pal Bruce Ratner found a new partner- Greenland Holdings,a company controlled by the Chinese govt. They promptly changed the name of the site from Atlantic Yards to Pacific Park, Greenland now reaps the benefit of the subsidies, tax beak & cheap land. h/t Tal
Master troll!
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
[Home] [Headlines] [Latest Articles] [Latest Comments] [Post] [Mail] [Sign-in] [Setup] [Help] [Register]