[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Vermont composting rules could kill off the state’s small poultry farmers.

It's not fair [boo hoo wah wah]

Deposition: Paul Joseph Watson Warned Alex Jones Not To Align With ‘Bat Shit Crazy’ Jeff Rense and James Fetzer On Sandy Hook

Judge Orders Man Who Violated Recording Ban To Publish An Essay About Respecting The Court AND To Delete All Negative Comments From Readers

Setting the Stage for an Amash Presidential Run, the Libertarian Party Endorses Trump’s Impeachment

Dems Vow To Learn From Labour Party's Mistake Of Not Going Far Enough Left

Hillary Milhous Felon's failed facelift

Cop Shoots Innocent Unarmed Woman, Forces Her to Crawl to Him as She Bleeds Out

"Richard Jewell" Shows What a Conservative Hollywood Would Look Like

They Couldn’t Have Done It Without Lapdogs Like the Washington Post

Sin Taxes & Other Orwellian Methods of Compliance That Feed the Government’s Greed

VA Democrats threaten prosecution and National Guard for police who fail to enforce pending gun control legislation

McConnell: ‘There Won’t Be any Difference’ on Handling Impeachment Trial Between Senate and W.H.

‘Celebrate Boris!’ – Trump Hails UK Election Result, ‘Massive New Trade Deal After Brexit’

UK Election: Exit Poll Suggests Historic Tory Majority, Hard-Left Labour Collapse

Secret Service Wants Schools to Report More Weirdos

Petition for the Recall of Governor Ralph Northam

'I Am Being Held Hostage By The Squad And Am Impeaching Trump Against My Will,' Nancy Pelosi Frantically Blinks Out In Morse Code

House Dems Unveil Surefire Plan To Get Trump Reelected

H.Res.757 - Calling for the resignation and disbarment of United States Attorney General William P. Barr, and for other purposes.

'The law is the law': Virginia Democrats float prosecution and National Guard for police who fail to enforce gun control legislation

Five thousand inventions in limbo and under “secrecy orders” at the US Patent Office

Cops Break Into Innocent Sleeping Woman’s Home, Shoot Her—Now She Faces Life in Prison

How unconscious do you want your child to be?

Trump's Popularity Surges After Nation Learns He May Have Obstructed Congress

Report: Jesus, Mary, Joseph Were Actually Detained Under Obama Administration

Hershey brew pub cancels GOP candidate's event with Proud Boys chair

Rudy G. - Godfather of the Russian Mob?

Number of African Migrants Heading to U.S. Through Mexico Doubles

Early Christian Philosophy and Aristotle

The Marine Who Told a Joke

Historic Achievement: Labor Union Backs Trump USMCA Trade Agreement

Joe Biden Pledges to Not Comply with Senate Subpoena in Impeachment Trial

Report: Senate GOP leaders leaning towards voting to acquit Trump before he has a chance to call any witnesses

Hoo boy: Some moderate Dems now pushing censure instead of impeachment

Hillary Clinton emerges as top choice of Democratic voters in Harvard-Harris presidential poll

California Cop Confuses Umbrella for Gun and Opens Fire with AR-15

More sober drivers are being arrested for DUI in Phoenix

“He Didn’t Just Die, Did He?”

No One is Immune to Police Misconduct…Including Retired Police!

Since Feeding the Homeless Is Illegal, Activists Carry AR-15s to Give Out Food, Supplies

Virginia Sheriff: ‘I Will Deputize Thousands of Citizens To Protect Their Gun Rights’

Pope Francis Declares That Christian Fundamentalists Are “A Scourge”

U.S. officials misled public on Afghan war

Democrats to announce articles of impeachment against Trump on Tuesday

How Trump May Finally Kill the WTO

Impeachment Gets Weird

OAN Stunning Lutsenko Interview – Outlines: Marie Yovanovitch Perjury, George Kent Impeachment Motive, Lindsey Graham Motive to Bury Investigation…

Hillary Clinton emerges as top choice of Democratic voters in Harvard-Harris presidential poll

BREAKING: US Attorney John Durham Releases Statement Disputing IG Report Conclusions


Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: For old people
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Aug 9, 2019
Author: Uniknown
Post Date: 2019-08-09 11:23:48 by IbJensen
Keywords: None
Views: 253
Comments: 2

WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING? REALLY???

Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

(And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour)

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

(But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my car.. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

Hmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

A Brunette, by the way!!

mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right now!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 80!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 8 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 5 PM .

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

11. You can't remember who sent you this list.

12. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

And remember, Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: IbJensen (#0)

Willie Green  posted on  2019-08-09   12:12:33 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: IbJensen (#0)

misterwhite  posted on  2019-08-09   12:51:36 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Please report web page problems, questions and comments to webmaster@libertysflame.com