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United States News Title: Resisting the Campus Speech Nazis DENVEREvery time I perform, I start out with a few comments about Safe Spaces and Trigger Warnings. I flash onto the screen a picture of a sensory deprivation chamber in a hostel in downtown Cleveland and say, This is your safe space. Its not here. Thats why I was a little startled at the meet-and-greet after the Saturday-night show at the Denver Film Festival. A handful of people had driven down from Fort Collins, all of them somehow associated with Colorado State University. Colorado State may not be high on your list of trendsetting institutions, but anyone who follows political-correctness battles is well aware of it. To use just one example, the Director of Diversity and Inclusion at Associated Students of Colorado State University (yes, thats a thing) recently said that students shouldnt use the phrase Long time, no see, because its offensive to Asians. We dont realize it because its buried so deep down in our subconscious selves, but saying Long time, no see means we hate Asian people. As I say, this type of imaginative speech-scolding emanates regularly from Colorado State, which must have an army of inventive censors poring over everything that is written, spoken, or dog-whistled by its 33,000 students. It doesnt really make sense, though, since Colorado State is a land-grant college just like Texas A&M, Iowa State, Mississippi State, and all the other schools created in the 19th century to foster the study of agriculture, military science, and mechanical engineering. You expect this kind of insanity from Yaleand you get it from Yalebut you dont expect it from a school that historically trains farmers and machinists before they ship off for their three years in the Marine Corps. Colorado State has something called an Inclusive Communications Task Force, which summons up images of armed mercenaries parachuting into fraternity houses to confiscate Facebook accounts, and they have a rulebook that includes such dicta as: (1) Always use inclusive pronouns. They suggest using they/them/theirs instead of he or she, but those are plurals, so the only thing left for singular all-inclusive pronouns would be it. Coach Willoughby praised the performance of the junior varsity against the University of Wyoming. They were tough, it said. Another solution would be to adopt the practice of the Soviets and start calling one another comrades, one of the most gender-neutral solutions ever. They were tough, said the comrade. (2) Dont assume gender or identity online. (3) Use people-first language (person with a disability vs. disabled). Because disabled as a free-floating adjective might imply youre talking about a disabled horse or Toyota as opposed to a person. (4) Use first-year student instead of freshman. Why dont we just use the gender-neutral it again, so it would be freshit? (5) Dont use you guys because its exclusive. Instead, use yall. As a Southerner, I say, Cultural appropriation! Cultural appropriation! Cultural appropriation of our second-person plural! (6) Authentically represent diversity. No frigging idea what this means. But of all the Colorado State diversity and inclusion rules, my favorites are these two: (7) Avoid gendered emojis. (8) Use default yellow emojis. Because, you know, you might get your own gender and skin color wrong. Arent emojis used to describe the person sending the emoji? Apparently Colorado State has gotten to such an advanced stage of enlightenment that theyre protecting students from discriminating against themselves. Katrina Leibee, a columnist for the student newspaper, The Rocky Mountain Collegian, asked this question of the two principal campus-speech cops: If this sort of language is not censored outside of this campus, why should we censor it here? Because theyre planning for the future, Katrina. The goal is to censor everywhere, under the theory that there are all these emotionally sensitive Bubble People who, if exposed to certain words, will crumble into dust. Delta State University in Mississippi recently announced that students will be expelled if they inflict mental or emotional distress on others. (So they dont care about intention, they only care that someone claimed distress. And so much for debate teams.) Cal State University Long Beach recently got rid of its Prospector Pete mascot, immortalized in statues and sideline costumes, because its a reference to the Gold Rush prospectors who perpetuated colonization, white supremacy, racism and exclusion ideals not only against indigenous American communities, but also women, people of color and non-Protestant communities. (This is in spite of the university not being founded until 1949, a hundred years after the Gold Rush, with the reference being simply a way to honor founding president Pete Peterson, who said he had struck the gold of education.) In Baraboo, Wisconsin, the superintendent is investigating which high school students raised their arms in an apparent Nazi salute during a photo op on the courthouse steps, threatening legal action against them. I could go on and onI keep files on this stuffbut the common thread is that the Speech Police dont seem to realize that their type thrive only in totalitarian societies. They claim their goal is inclusion, but all you have to do is ask them to include the wrong grouphigh school kids who raise their arms in a certain way, white European ethnic-pride groupsand inclusion turns into its opposite. Expulsion for being outspoken doesnt sound much like inclusion. Thats why the Colorado State students and professors and ex-students who came to my show mean so much to me. You dont come to one of my shows if you believe in any of the diversity and inclusion rules. You dont come to one of my shows if you believe in censoring social media or kicking people out of school because they hold unpopular views. You dont come to one of my shows if you believe that anytime someone says, You triggered me, we should all stop talking and hug the complainer. This makes me think that much of the campus political-correctness movement is just intimidation of people trying to get through college without getting called out. It makes me think they all know its bullshit and just ignore it like you ignore a loud preacher on the subway. It makes me think that most people still believe in letting every American say whatever the heck every American wants to say, using whatever words he wants to use, and to hell with the public scolding. It makes me think that were gonna be okay. The Puritans and the moralizers and the scolds will always be with us. All we have to do is start learning to say Fuck you again. Or, if thats so harsh that it might cause emotional distress, simply With all due respect, comrade, youre an idiot.
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#1. To: Deckard (#0)
Exactly right. That's why Liberty's Flame is such a trendsetter. People are telling me that here all the time!
Justifiably so.
The truth hurts.
Awww. You know I'm kidding.
*Pout* *sniffle* grin
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