[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Utopian Visionaries Who Won’t Leave People Alone

No - no - no Ain'T going To get away with iT

Pete Buttplug's Butt Plugger Trying to Turn Kids into Faggots

Mark Levin: I'm sick and tired of these attacks

Questioning the Big Bang

James Webb Data Contradicts the Big Bang

Pssst! Don't tell the creationists, but scientists don't have a clue how life began

A fine romance: how humans and chimps just couldn't let go

Early humans had sex with chimps

O’Keefe dons bulletproof vest to extract undercover journalist from NGO camp.

Biblical Contradictions (Alleged)

Catholic Church Praising Lucifer

Raising the Knife

One Of The HARDEST Videos I Had To Make..

Houthi rebels' attack severely damages a Belize-flagged ship in key strait leading to the Red Sea (British Ship)

Chinese Illegal Alien. I'm here for the moneuy

Red Tides Plague Gulf Beaches

Tucker Carlson calls out Nikki Haley, Ben Shapiro, and every other person calling for war:

{Are there 7 Deadly Sins?} I’ve heard people refer to the “7 Deadly Sins,” but I haven’t been able to find that sort of list in Scripture.

Abomination of Desolation | THEORY, BIBLE STUDY

Bible Help

Libertysflame Database Updated

Crush EVERYONE with the Alien Gambit!

Vladimir Putin tells Tucker Carlson US should stop arming Ukraine to end war

Putin hints Moscow and Washington in back-channel talks in revealing Tucker Carlson interview

Trump accuses Fulton County DA Fani Willis of lying in court response to Roman's motion

Mandatory anti-white racism at Disney.

Iceland Volcano Erupts For Third Time In 2 Months, State Of Emergency Declared

Tucker Carlson Interview with Vladamir Putin

How will Ar Mageddon / WW III End?

What on EARTH is going on in Acts 16:11? New Discovery!

2023 Hottest in over 120 Million Years

2024 and beyond in prophecy

Questions

This Speech Just Broke the Internet

This AMAZING Math Formula Will Teach You About God!

The GOSPEL of the ALIENS | Fallen Angels | Giants | Anunnaki

The IMAGE of the BEAST Revealed (REV 13) - WARNING: Not for Everyone

WEF Calls for AI to Replace Voters: ‘Why Do We Need Elections?’

The OCCULT Burger king EXPOSED

PANERA BREAD Antichrist message EXPOSED

The OCCULT Cheesecake Factory EXPOSED

Satanist And Witches Encounter The Cross

History and Beliefs of the Waldensians

Rome’s Persecution of the Bible

Evolutionists, You’ve Been Caught Lying About Fossils

Raw Streets of NYC Migrant Crisis that they don't show on Tv

Meet DarkBERT - AI Model Trained On DARK WEB

[NEW!] Jaw-dropping 666 Discovery Utterly Proves the King James Bible is God's Preserved Word

ALERT!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION WILL SOON BE POSTED HERE


Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: New Progressive Bible Highlighter Set Just 5 Shades Of Whiteout
Source: Babylon Bee
URL Source: https://babylonbee.com/news/new-pro ... set-just-5-shades-of-whiteout/
Published: Aug 23, 2018
Author: staff
Post Date: 2018-08-23 13:10:56 by redleghunter
Keywords: None
Views: 332
Comments: 3

New Progressive Bible Highlighter Set Just 5 Shades Of Whiteout

NASHVILLE, TN—Thomas Nelson Publishers will debut a new Bible highlighter set designed especially for progressive believers, consisting only of pens in 5 different shades of whiteout, sources confirmed.

According to company spokesperson Dak Stevenson, the new set will give progressives even more options for rubbing out Biblical texts that don’t agree with their personal belief system. “We want to give progressive Bible readers many options, from lighter shades of correction fluid for erasing problematic Scripture passages, to heavier shades for completely eliminating sections that are clearly heretical to a modern understanding of God’s heart,” Stevenson told sources.

“No longer do you just have to scream at the sky when the Scriptures don’t affirm your preconceived viewpoints,” he added. The publishers also announced a Premium Progressive highlighter set which will include a set of scissors, for cutting out entire books or Testaments of the Bible.

Should the new product do well in the progressive market, Thomas Nelson reportedly plans to release sets for other worldviews as well, including American exceptionalism, various cults, and a whole line for people of different eschatological persuasions.

Click for Full Text!

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: redleghunter (#0)

The Ten Commandments will reduce to the two or three suggestions.

nolu chan  posted on  2018-08-23   15:48:35 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: nolu chan (#1)

LOL if only three make it!

redleghunter  posted on  2018-08-24   16:05:44 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#3. To: nolu chan, redleghunter (#1) (Edited)

The Ten Commandments will reduce to the two or three suggestions.

HA..."suggestions" at that.

"Commandments, Schlamandments!! But...but...who is God to make any law?? HEY! Isn't he some kind of privileged old dead white guy in a beard making all these unreasonable demands? And...and...why so many Commandments?? That's UNFAIR."

"Look...I'm a good person. I know I'm going to Heaven. I didn't kill anybody...and I wuz nice. I fed my dog and petted him. I donated to United Way and NARAL. I supported Gay Marriage because in Leviticus, God is REALLY mean. Come to think of it. God is a meanie -- especially when he drowned everyone.

SOOOOO....The new Nelson Bible is convenient. Now I'll simply white-out all those annoying 'Abominations'. Because if *I* don't like a law or rule OR Commandment, it simply doesn't exist."

Liberator  posted on  2018-08-24   16:21:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Please report web page problems, questions and comments to webmaster@libertysflame.com