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Title: 1999 Toyota Corolla - Fine AF - $2500
Source:
Craigslist via AoS
URL Source: https://houston.craigslist.org/cto/ ... orolla-fine-af/6565526716.html
Published: May 4, 2018
Author: some dude
Post Date: 2018-05-04 12:12:38 by Tooconservative
Keywords: None
Views: 1831
Comments: 10
(1 image) 
You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let's talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car
This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
Interesting facts:
This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey.
In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"
You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
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#1. To: Tooconservative (#0)
Well, upon close examination, that picture sure looks like it has one. Toyota's are definitely tuff,and durable. We have a 96 T-100, a 98 4 Runner, both have over 300,000 miles, and still going. We also have two RAV 4's. I have family in New Mexico that have Toyota's that are going strong. I don't know of any USA made vehicles that hold up as well. Except, we had a 94 Dodge Grand Caravan. We sold it a couple years ago, when it went over 300,000. Just a few weeks ago, saw some guy driving it through town. Sounded like it needed a new muffler, but it was running. The next time I buy another vehicle, it will be a Toyota.
I have had 3 grand caravans. The first a 1991 I used for work. I got rid of it after it had 300,000 miles. It ran, but you had to start it, put it in drive, then reverse, then back into drive then the tranny responded. I drove it for 3 years like that. I put a fuel pump and an alternator in it, and changed the fluids and bought tires for it. That is all it needed. I seriously never put new plugs and wires in it. It was a helluva paint hauler. The second now has 256K on it, my kids drove it to Michigan from Washington State this week. It took an alternator, and a tune up with fluid and tire changes. My third one, it now has 140K on it, I need to replace the timing chain, a CV is clicking and the struts squeak over speed bumps. OH and brakes on all of them when needed. GREAT vehicles.
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Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest" Sunroof: nope "
#4. To: Stoner (#1)
Replies to Comment # 4.
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