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United States News
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Title: When Parody becomes Reality (Triple Trac Razor)
Source: [None]
URL Source: [None]
Published: Mar 2, 2018
Author: snl
Post Date: 2018-03-02 11:47:33 by no gnu taxes
Keywords: None
Views: 2881
Comments: 26

Transcript from SNL. I cant find a video:


Announcer (V/O): In the dawn of civilization, long before the Bronze Age, man first began his search for the close shave.

[ The caveman takes a club and hits himself in the face. DISSOLVE to the announcer speaking to the camera against a black background ]

Announcer: Since then, man has been ardently striding to design the perfect shaving instrument.

[ Shots of various razors are shown ]

Announcer (V/O): From the straight razor, to the safety razor, to the injector system, amd finally the highly acclaimed twinblade cartridge.

[ The announcer picks up a twinblade and shows it to the camera ]

Announcer: Almost perfect, yet not quite the superlative groom. Introducing the Triple-Trac.

[ DISSOLVE to a close-up of the three-bladed Triple-Trac razor ]

Announcer (V/O): Not just two blades in one system, but three stainless, platinum teflex-coated blades melded together to form one incredible shaving cartridge, easily fitted into your old twinblade holder. Triple-Trac's triple-threat cartridge, with more close shaves than ever before. Here's how it works.

[ DISSOLVE to a cartoon showing a how the Triple-Trac shaves a whisker ]

Announcer (V/O): The first blade grabs at the whisker, tugging it away from your face to protect it from the second blade.

[ The cartoon shows how the Triple-Trac yanks painfully at the whisker ]

Announcer (V/O): Blade number two catches and digs into the stubble before it has the chance to snap back and injure you, pulling it farther out so that it is now ready for shearing.

[ The cartoon shows an even more painful whisker-yanking ]

Announcer (V/O): Triple-Trac's third blade, a finely-honed bonded platinum instrument, cuts cleanly through the whisker at its base, leaving your face as smooth as a billiard ball.

[ Finally, the cartoon shows the Triple-Trac completely shaving the whisker ]

[ DISSOLVE back to the announcer against the black background, holding up a Triple-Trac ]

Announcer: The Triple-Trac. Because you'll believe anything.


I was thinking about this skit when I bought a disposable razor the other day that actually had 4 blades.

I'm sure there are many other examples.

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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 20.

#2. To: no gnu taxes (#0)

Go electric instead. You save on shaving cream and razors, and don't expose yourself daily to whatever chemicals they put in shaving cream. I'm sure the one time purchase of an electric razor and electrical cost is cheaper in the long run. You do pay for the electricity they use to make razors and cream anyway.

Yeah, I remember those Trac II commercials and wondering why they would advertise how it gives you ingrown hairs.

Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   12:31:11 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: Pinguinite (#2)

You save on shaving cream and razors, and don't expose yourself daily to whatever chemicals they put in shaving cream.

Shaving cream? Who needs that? Shave in the shower. The hot water softens your beard and washes the shavings right off. No need for any cream or gel or soap or anything at all.

And your bath brush cleans out the gunk between the two blades ilico-presto. (And when you don't use cream or gel, there's hardly any gunk to clean.)

Stop using shampoo too. For two weeks everything is itchy and oily and gross, but then your scalp stops producing excess oil (usually stripped away every day by the soap), and the oil spreads out in your hair with the heat, and your hair becomes soft and really quite nice. And as a bonus you stop absorbing aluminum through your skin and reduce your chances of getting Alzheimer's someday.

Stop using soap also, and just stand under the water longer. Use a body brush. You'll stink for a couple of weeks, but then gradually the oils subside there too, and you just don't need soap or deodorant. And you stop absorbing fat and aluminum.

Vicomte13  posted on  2018-03-02   12:48:22 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#7. To: Vicomte13 (#4)

Stop using shampoo too...as a bonus you stop absorbing aluminum through your skin and reduce your chances of getting Alzheimer's someday.

Stop using soap also, and just stand under the water longer. Use a body brush. You'll stink for a couple of weeks, but then...

Couple of observations.

Yes, I agree that shampooing one hair/scalp (if any of us have much left) is counter productive.

The aluminum content in anti-antiperspirants is a real danger. Especially now, since manufacturers are adding 18% and more for prolonged "protection."

A bit of soap and smelling good is productive in attracting or KEEPING a lady around and "interested." *COUGH*

Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:15:51 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#14. To: Liberator (#7)

The aluminum content in anti-antiperspirants is a real danger. Especially now, since manufacturers are adding 18% and more for prolonged "protection."

You beat me to it!

I use antiperspirants only on those occasions when I don't want to take chances smelling bad but I generally have no problems with that anyway. I do live in a cooler climate though. Anyone living in heat & humidity may not have that as an option so much. I imagine powdered antiperspirants are probably better than gel deodorants as there's no fluid to help facilitate absorption through the skin.

Pinguinite  posted on  2018-03-02   13:37:52 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#17. To: Pinguinite (#14) (Edited)

You beat me to it!

Yeah, noticed your aluminum warning too...

I've notice now they are now advertising "72-96 Hour Protection". That of course comes with no caveat for the insane toxic amount of aluminum (20%) in the "anti-antiperspirant potion (XXtreme Right Guard).

I use antiperspirants only on those occasions when I don't want to take chances smelling bad but I generally have no problems with that anyway. I do live in a cooler climate though. Anyone living in heat & humidity may not have that as an option so much. I imagine powdered antiperspirants are probably better than gel deodorants as there's no fluid to help facilitate absorption through the skin.

Right...generally, minimal social contact with others = NOT a problem.

Cooler/winter situations not as problematic as warmer environs.

I always found the gels to be easier to spread and use. Powdered spray or stick? Never liked breathing in that stuff while the sticks seem to crumble. To each his own I guess...

Liberator  posted on  2018-03-02   13:53:34 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#20. To: Liberator, redleghunter (#17)

Off-topic but did you notice that Snopes was fact-checking a Babylon Bee story for Facebook and it kinda blew up in their faces? I didn't think it warranted a thread here but wanted to pass along the link.

HotGas: Oops! Facebook, Snopes come down hard on Christian satire site

Tooconservative  posted on  2018-03-02   18:27:23 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


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