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Humor Title: Potted Meat Review
Potted Meat Food Product There aren't too many products that feel the need to reassure you that they are, in fact, "food." Already not a good sign. The list of ingredients is long and horrifying, coming right out of the gate with "MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN." Oddly enough, I'm about to be separated from my lunch, and I haven't even opened the can yet. Other ingredients include BEEF TRIPE, BEEF HEARTS, AND "PARTIALLY DE-FATTED COOKED PORK FATTY TISSUE" How does one de-fat fat? Bizarre. God knows what else is in here. Okay, I'm going to go try it now. If i'm not back in ten minutes, call Poison Control... I'm back. Oofah. Okay, here we go-- Pulling back the lid (not recommended) lets loose an odor that punches you in the nose like a stinky fist. If you've ever smelled a can of dog food, it's just like that. Only imagine you are opening the can while your head is wedged in a horse's ass. Inside is a smooth, oddly pink meat paste. So smooth, in fact, I dare call it "creamy." (I actually got a little gaggy just typing that.) Surprisingly, it was a little spicier than I expected. Although, that sensation may have been a by-product of my tastebuds dying. The can shows a serving suggestion of the Potted Meat being served on squares of toast. I would also suggest squares of toilet paper. Or maybe a nice diaper. All I can tell you is, I survived the first installment of "Steve, Don't Eat It." And I have to admit it may have even been a little educational. I know I learned at least one thing from "Ralph's Potted Meat"-- Ralph is a fucking dick. Not surprisingly, I've come up with a little slogan the peeps who handle Potted Meat Marketing can use (no charge, as always): POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes. (2 images) Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest Funny Si vis pacem, para bellum #2. To: no gnu taxes (#0) ![]() www.anyclip.com/movies/th...coons-decide-to-break-in/ 'They have Illinois plates, Mom.' 'lf they're from Chicago, we'll be eating good. 'Lobster tails! 'A shitload of raw hot dogs.' 'You know what they're made of... 'lips and assholes!'
#3. To: no gnu taxes (#0) (Edited) The other day I was making a salami & swiss sandwich But I haven't decided yet if I'm ever going to buy any more.
#4. To: Chuck_Wagon (#3) Heart is best when warm and dripping, fresh out of the kill. -- Otherwise, cool it as soon as possible, slice it fairly thin, and saute in butter just long enough to heat it thoroughly. --- Bon appetite...
#5. To: no gnu taxes (#0) If you've ever smelled a can of dog food, it's just like that. Only imagine you are opening the can while your head is wedged in a horse's ass. LOL Poetry.
#6. To: Chuck_Wagon (#3) As I was making it, I casually read the ingredients of the salami. It contains BEEF HEARTS. I never knew that. I ate the sandwich, and the rest of the salami is in the fridge. I'll eat it. Hmmm....packaged salami? What brand? Could be the case with pepperoni as well. Ugh. (still didn't turn you off enough not the finish it? ;-) No one really reads the ingredients of cold cuts when you're out there ordering an Italian sub. That's what I'd call a "cautionary tale." That's why I only order Boar's Head or Thumans. Btw, I'd go with a Genoa salami, Chuck.
#7. To: tpaine, Chuck_Wagon (#4) Heart is best when warm and dripping, fresh out of the kill. I don't think Shop-Rite is slaughtering live animals. YET. Otherwise, cool it as soon as possible, slice it fairly thin, and saute in butter just long enough to heat it thoroughly. --- Bon appetite... Probably a delicacy back in the day. Do you enjoy this dish? And do you suggest the fava beans with a playful Chianti?
#8. To: tpaine (#4) ...best when warm and dripping... Thanks for the info!
#9. To: Liberator (#6) (Edited) Hmmm....packaged salami? What brand? Could be the case I think it was Hormel brand.
#10. To: Liberator (#7) Probably a delicacy back in the day. Obviously, you're not a hunter. Try it, you'll like it..
#11. To: no gnu taxes, Chuck_Wagon, liberator (#0) Okay, here we go-- Pulling back the lid (not recommended) lets loose an odor that punches you in the nose like a stinky fist. If you've ever smelled a can of dog food, it's just like that. Only imagine you are opening the can while your head is wedged in a horse's ass. Thanks a lot Gnu, just ready to sit down to lunch:) But did remind me of a movie character who loved potted meat:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3) #12. To: Liberator (#7) (Edited) If you don't care for liver, don't eat the heart. IMHO, close to same taste and texture. I've eaten both... but I don't like it enough to take them from all the little hungry critters in the food chain that would eat them. I leave both with the gut pile.
Most people I know, pickle the heart and eat it that way Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists on. Robert Kennedy #13. To: Chuck_Wagon (#9) I think it was Hormel brand. Wow. Hormel was pretty trusted. TIL NOW :-( Re: fat content. Can't go crazy with pepperoni or salami anyway...
#14. To: redleghunter (#11) That movie and scene is what came to my mind when seeing this thread. I know a guy who worked in a butcher house in his young days. He'd never eat a hot dog after seeing what went into them. "They'd add blood for color," he said.
#15. To: tpaine (#10) Obviously, you're not a hunter. Yes, I do hunt. At the meat counter at the butcher ;-) But if I was a hunter I'd be down for...THE MEAT...specifically, #1, the tenderloin (btw, does squirrel have "tenderloin"? Try it, you'll like it.. Not unless I'm hanging out with Rambo.
#16. To: redleghunter (#11) But did remind me of a movie character who loved potted meat: Man, this scene hit this thread right on the nose.
#17. To: Liberator (#15) btw, does squirrel have "tenderloin"? Yes. About the size of a #2 pencil Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists on. Robert Kennedy #18. To: GrandIsland, tpaine (#12) If you don't care for liver, don't eat the heart. IMHO, close to same taste and texture. NOT a big fan of either? Naw, I don't like liver either...or any organ meat. Guess I was spoiled/fortunate in that sense that my family never had to. Reckon, what you grow up eating molds your palate and aversion to certain food. People are like that with a lotta seafood and shellfish. I have a good friend who won't eat shrimp....because it reminds her of a fetus. Most people I know, pickle the heart and eat it that way. Not enough money in the world....
#19. To: GrandIsland (#17) Hilarious.
#20. To: Fred Mertz (#14) (Edited) I know a guy who worked in a butcher house in his young days. He'd never eat a hot dog after seeing what went into them. "They'd add blood for color," he said. That's why one buys Kosher dogs. Which reminds me of the olde days when the budget was tight (and before I read labels before buying.) Dog ingredients: Pigs' snouts, feet, organs, etc. And it tasted like it :-/
#21. To: Fred Mertz, redleghunter, Chuck_Wagon (#14) That movie and scene is what came to my mind when seeing this thread.
#22. To: Chuck_Wagon (#3) I was once looking at the ingredients for some cheap chorizo sausage. One of them was pork lymph nodes. Okay. I'm not sure how they singled out the lymph nodes. I am willing to try a lot of of organ meats, but I didn't feel adventurous enough to try out this one. Obama has played at being a president while enjoying the perks … golf, insanely expensive vacations at tax-payer expense. He has ignored the responsibilities of the job; no plans, no budgets, no alternatives … just finger pointing; making him a complete failure as a president #23. To: GrandIsland (#12) If you don't care for liver, don't eat the heart. IMHO, close to same taste and texture. I would disagree a bit. Heart is muscle. It's like tough, bloody steak. Maybe like a chuck steak, only tougher and bloodier. Liver is a sort of mushy. It's has some mineral elements to it like heart, but it's a very different texture. Liver has its own taste and it's very hard to describe. The only way liver tastes close to heart is if you fry it death until its like a piece of leather. Obama has played at being a president while enjoying the perks … golf, insanely expensive vacations at tax-payer expense. He has ignored the responsibilities of the job; no plans, no budgets, no alternatives … just finger pointing; making him a complete failure as a president #24. To: Liberator (#18) I don't like liver either...or any organ meat. Guess I was spoiled/fortunate in that sense that my family never had to. We never had to eat liver or heart, but my parents liked it by choice. -- And during the war, we slaughtered hogs in our suburban back yard to supplement our meat ration. We ate everything but the squeal.
#25. To: tpaine (#24) ....During the war, we slaughtered hogs in our suburban back yard to supplement our meat ration. We ate everything but the squeal. Lol...NOT the tail as well?? Yeah, I can see why it'd become an delicious part of your cuisine. That was during a time when many people went hungry. Far before the supermarket generation.
#26. To: Liberator (#25) Far before the supermarket generation. I live in NC now, and I see pig tails, pig ears, and pig feet in the fresh meats section of the supermarket. There are pig intestines (chitlins) and other pig innards in the frozen foods. Obama has played at being a president while enjoying the perks … golf, insanely expensive vacations at tax-payer expense. He has ignored the responsibilities of the job; no plans, no budgets, no alternatives … just finger pointing; making him a complete failure as a president #27. To: no gnu taxes (#0) Americans eat everything. In hotdogs.
#28. To: A Pole (#27) Americans eat everything. In hotdogs. Are you Polish? Poles eat some pretty disgusting canned stuff. Obama has played at being a president while enjoying the perks … golf, insanely expensive vacations at tax-payer expense. He has ignored the responsibilities of the job; no plans, no budgets, no alternatives … just finger pointing; making him a complete failure as a president #29. To: no gnu taxes (#28) Are you Polish? Poles eat some pretty disgusting canned stuff. Not in cans. They delicious tripe soup - flaczki.
#30. To: All (#29) Flaki or flaczki (polish beef tripe) - way to heart through stomach
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