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Title: Potted Meat Review
Source:
http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/
URL Source: [None]
Published: Apr 22, 2015
Author: the sneeze
Post Date: 2015-04-22 05:36:04 by no gnu taxes
Keywords: None
Views: 5096
Comments: 30
Potted Meat Food Product
There aren't too many products that feel the need to reassure you that they are, in fact, "food." Already not a good sign.
The list of ingredients is long and horrifying, coming right out of the gate with "MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN." Oddly enough, I'm about to be separated from my lunch, and I haven't even opened the can yet.
Other ingredients include BEEF TRIPE, BEEF HEARTS, AND "PARTIALLY DE-FATTED COOKED PORK FATTY TISSUE" How does one de-fat fat? Bizarre. God knows what else is in here.
Okay, I'm going to go try it now. If i'm not back in ten minutes, call Poison Control...
I'm back. Oofah.
Okay, here we go-- Pulling back the lid (not recommended) lets loose an odor that punches you in the nose like a stinky fist. If you've ever smelled a can of dog food, it's just like that. Only imagine you are opening the can while your head is wedged in a horse's ass.
Inside is a smooth, oddly pink meat paste. So smooth, in fact, I dare call it "creamy." (I actually got a little gaggy just typing that.) Surprisingly, it was a little spicier than I expected. Although, that sensation may have been a by-product of my tastebuds dying.
The can shows a serving suggestion of the Potted Meat being served on squares of toast. I would also suggest squares of toilet paper. Or maybe a nice diaper.
All I can tell you is, I survived the first installment of "Steve, Don't Eat It." And I have to admit it may have even been a little educational. I know I learned at least one thing from "Ralph's Potted Meat"-- Ralph is a fucking dick.
Not surprisingly, I've come up with a little slogan the peeps who handle Potted Meat Marketing can use (no charge, as always): POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes. (2 images)
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 3.
#3. To: no gnu taxes (#0) (Edited)
The other day I was making a salami & swiss sandwich
for lunch. As I was making it, I casually read the
ingredients of the salami. It contains BEEF HEARTS.
I never knew that. I ate the sandwich, and the rest
of the salami is in the fridge. I'll eat it.
But I haven't decided yet if I'm ever going to buy any more.
Replies to Comment # 3.
Heart is best when warm and dripping, fresh out of the kill. -- Otherwise, cool it as soon as possible, slice it fairly thin, and saute in butter just long enough to heat it thoroughly. --- Bon appetite...
#6. To: Chuck_Wagon (#3)
As I was making it, I casually read the ingredients of the salami. It contains BEEF HEARTS. I never knew that. I ate the sandwich, and the rest of the salami is in the fridge. I'll eat it.
Hmmm....packaged salami? What brand? Could be the case with pepperoni as well. Ugh. (still didn't turn you off enough not the finish it? ;-)
No one really reads the ingredients of cold cuts when you're out there ordering an Italian sub. That's what I'd call a "cautionary tale." That's why I only order Boar's Head or Thumans. Btw, I'd go with a Genoa salami, Chuck.
#22. To: Chuck_Wagon (#3)
I was once looking at the ingredients for some cheap chorizo sausage. One of them was pork lymph nodes. Okay. I'm not sure how they singled out the lymph nodes. I am willing to try a lot of of organ meats, but I didn't feel adventurous enough to try out this one.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 3.
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