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Title: Measuring One’s Liberal Quotient
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Published: Dec 7, 2006
Author: John W. Lillpop
Post Date: 2006-12-07 07:27:15 by alwaysontheright
Keywords: None
Views: 2830
Comments: 12
Recognizing when one is a liberal, and knowing the full extent of that devastating mental disorder, is vital information that one should have in order to effectively navigate life’s many obstacles and roadblocks. Moreover, when medical care or confinement is indicated, it helps when the attending physician is aware that extraordinary medicines and therapies may be required to combat the liberal DNA responsible for so much psychosis in the world. This simple, yet scientific, test has been programmed to evaluate one’s “liberal quotient,” which is the exact opposite of intelligence quotient, and usually portends serious mental and moral defects. The test: 1. Abortion >>Roe V. Wade, one of America’s great founding fathers, authored Amendment No. 16 to the U.S. Constitution which guarantees women the right to privacy while undergoing an abortion. In what year was Amendment 16 added to the Bill of Rights? ( ) 1792 ( ) 1812 ( ) Still being filibustered in the U.S. Senate >>Abortions should be: ( ) Mandatory for unmarried women under 30. ( ) A real no-no after an expectant mother has started to labor, unless the attending physician can guarantee that law enforcement authorities will not be notified. ( ) Funded by eliminating the Bush tax cuts for the wealty. 2. Global War on Terror >>The war on terror is: ( ) Based on outright lies and exaggerations by the Bush administration, and, as such, criminal in nature. ( ) Over, kaput. The terrorists have won—Bush should surrender immediately. ( ) Being fought all over the world--except in Iraq. >>Domestic Surveillance President Bush has personally listened to calls made and received by Democrats and moderate Republicans. This type of domestic spying is OK as long as the president does not use racial profiling in deciding which calls to eavesdrop on. ( ) True ( ) False 3. Taxes >>High taxes: ( ) Stimulate economic growth and create millions of secure, high paying jobs. ( ) Are needed to keep overachievers humble. ( ) Should be paid by any family with an annual income in excess of $7,450. 4. Energy and Dependence on Foreign Oil >>Drilling for new oil reserves in America is: ( ) Prohibited by the U.S. Constitution. ( ) A grave danger to Alaskan wildlife & ticket sales for Al Gore’s movie. ( ) Sure to irritate Iran’s president and other Islamic business leaders whom Bush should be working with, rather than against. ( ) Unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed. >>Adding additional refining capacity would: ( ) Increase demand, thereby causing more global warming. ( ) Be more immoral than post-birth abortions. ( ) Be fine if built in blue states by brown illegal aliens. ( ) Not be OK because the land is urgently needed for illegal aliens moving here from Mexico. >>The best option for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to: ( ) Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is. ( ) Ignore it because higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers even lower. ( ) Raise gasoline taxes $2.50 per gallon to reduce demand. ( ) Cut off supplies to Red states. ( ) Require each Mexican illegal alien to smuggle in five gallons of gas per month as a condition of the Bush amnesty. 5. Illegal immigration >>Illegal immigration is: ( ) Desperately needed by liberals in order to win elections. ( ) A misnomer. They are actually undocumented Democrats! ( ) Mexico’s chief export. ( ) Not a threat to U.S. homeland security. Why would Mexican peasants destroy the land of free rice and tacos? >>Border security should be: ( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce. ( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce and more Democrats. ( ) Turned over to Felipe Calderon in the name of diversity. ( ) Used to keep Mexican conservatives out of the United States. >>The proposed fence between the United States and Mexico is: ( ) A terrific idea, if built by firms owned by women and minorities. ( ) Unconstitutional. It discriminates against Mexicans too fat to climb over a fence. ( ) “Pork” in Red States, but economic necessity in blue states. >>Bush’s proposed amnesty: ( ) Is illegal if it prevents Mexicans from collecting welfare. ( ) Will work if guest workers are required to join a labor union. ( ) Should include free health care, driver's licenses, college degrees, and interest-free mortgages for illegal aliens. ( ) Sounds like amnesty, but Mexicans here illegally deserve amnesty! >>Spanish versus English: Mexican illegal immigrants should: ( ) Be prevented from learning English because the Democrats have printed 30 million ballots in Spanish for the 2008 election. ( ) Be kept English-illiterate to avoid exposure to GOP lies and propaganda. ( ) Be taught vital English words and phrases like welfare, food stamps, ACLU, racism, class-action lawsuit, Vote Democrat, six-pack, etc. >>Janet Napolitano, Democrat governor of Arizona: ( ) Was for Illegal Immigration before she was against it. ( ) Was a “stealth” candidate in Mexico’s presidential election in early July. ( ) Thinks ''Minutemen'' is a reference to the sexual staying power of Border Patrol agents. >>In dealing with massive protests by illegal aliens, the most prudent action would be to: ( ) Send a ''Letter of Unconditional Surrender'' to Mexican president Felipe Calderon along with a fully executed Quit Claim Deed to California, Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico. ( ) Pardon all 20 million illegal aliens with an Executive Order signed by President Bush and approved by Felipe Calderon. ( ) Hand out Spanish-language ballots for 2008 with Hillary Clinton’s name pre-punched as a vote for president. ( ) Sell forged driver’s licenses and Social Security cards, and use proceeds to buy ads opposing the border fence. 6. Using Liberalism to Understand Islam >>Ramadan: ( ) Was an Islamic religious ritual thousands of years before being commercialized as a national hotel chain—Ramada Inn—by greedy American capitalists. ( ) Is not covered by the constitutional separation of church and state because our founding fathers were all Christian Caucasians—AKA infidels. ( ) Should be observed by non-Muslims, especially obese Americans who need daily fasting just before pigging out at Thanksgiving and Christmas. ( ) Should be a paid, month-long national holiday for union labor and all Democrat operatives with proven liberal credentials. >>The Koran: ( ) Specifically identifies G.W. Bush as an alcoholic dyslexic and the anti-Allah. ( ) Is available on CD at Democratic National Committee headquarters. ( ) Should be required reading in K-12 to promote religious diversity and sensitivity, and to offset Judeo-Christian propaganda in the Bible. ( ) Calls for Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez to join forces in combating that “evil-doer” G.W. Bush. >>Mosques: ( ) Are spiritual sanctuaries reserved for holy communion with Allah, except when being used to plan nuclear attacks on the United States or Israel. ( ) Are managed by skilled curators who are experts in certifying Islamic axes for beheading infidels. ( ) Must never be used to store weapons or ammunition except during time of war. Because of infidels, Islam has always been, and will always be, at war. ( ) Must be attended for Friday prayer, except for the faithful who attend mosques destroyed by suicide bombers. (Notice: No fair blowing up a mosque just to get out of Friday prayer!) >>The practice of rewarding martyrs with 72 virgins: ( ) Makes far more sense that the Christian myth about a virgin giving birth to a Jew who had come to save the world. ( ) Assures that Allah will always have a large contingent of dedicated, virile young men eager to give their very lives for the righteous cause of Islam. ( ) Proves that Christians who promote abstinence are extremists who do not understand spirituality in this life nor the one to follow! ( ) Is proof that welfare reform without a commitment to government- sponsored vocational training is a failed Republican idea. Congratulations! You have successfully completed this objective assessment of your vulnerability as a practicing liberal. Because we understand that self-esteem and confidence are very fragile commodities to liberals, we provide neither answers nor grades to this test. This is essential to protect those who may have performed poorly. But rest assured that you did GREAT just by reading all the questions without requesting a lawyer or psychiatrist!
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#1. To: alwaysontheright (#0)
Abortion is murder. People who participate in it whether they are the woman who wants her kid dead. Whether they are the butcher that kills the kid. Or if they are the clerk that does the paperwork and catalogs the murders. They should all be put on trial for murder and executed. The War on Terror is a fraud. How can you have a war against a verb. You have to have a war against nouns. This was planned before 911 imo. Domestic survelliance is immoral and unconstitutional as far as listening to calls without a search warrant. It is the apparatus of a police state. Taxes are way to high. Only corporations should pay any kind of tax based on wages. They pass it on the the citizen anyways. We should drill for more oil. We should do it in a manner that preserves the environment. The border should be patrolled better and the illegals sent home. Build that fence (as long as it doesn't become a fence to keep us in) fuck amnesty and people should speak english. The Koran is a piece of toilate paper. Mosques are where satanists go. I don't think we should outlaw it though. Because someone may come to power some day and try to do the same thing to the true believers of God the real christians.
The corporations pay all the income tax on their employee wages already.
Then we shouldn't have to fill out income tax forms.
I suppose. The reason I said the corp pays your taxes is that your wages are raised to give you what you need after the taxes are paid. So if you need 35,000 dollars in your pocket to live then the corp has to pay you 50,000 so that you have 35 left over after taxes. If there wasn't any income tax they'd just pay you 35. So they are paying the taxes, not you.
49-60 million don't fill out 1040's as it is.
"If I thought this war was to abolish slavery, I would resign my commission, and offer my sword to the other side." --Ulysses S. Grant
I understand what you are saying. You could also reverse that and say that we are paying it all and they aren't paying any. That they raise their prices in order to pay their taxes. If they were forced to pay all the taxes then I think it would keep prices down. It would also save a lot of paperwork. It would also get the IRS off the citizens back.
49-60 million don't fill out 1040's as it is. To bad it isn't all of us not filling them out.
That's true. They raise the prices to cover their tax bill.
So they can only raise their prices so high or sales decline. Then they cry to the government and taxes come down. See the logic?
Not our taxes. Proably corporate taxes. IMO, what happens is they cut a deal with the gov't to reduce only their taxes (give them special deductions, etc.). And the gov't tells them, "We'll make business affordable for you if you further our globalist and socialist agenda." And the corporate CEO (who has been groomed from day one to be a traitor) says, "Deal".
"If I thought this war was to abolish slavery, I would resign my commission, and offer my sword to the other side." --Ulysses S. Grant
Not our taxes. Proably corporate taxes. I was talking about if the corporations paid all the taxes except for things like a gas tax which would be exclusively for roads. True excise taxes. Also tariffs on foreign goods coming in the country.
And the corporate CEO (who has been groomed from day one to be a traitor) says, "Deal". You're insane.
#2. To: A K A Stone (#1)
Only corporations should pay any kind of tax based on wages.
Whatcha Lookin' At, Butthead
#3. To: Biff Tannen (#2)
#4. To: A K A Stone (#3)
Whatcha Lookin' At, Butthead
#5. To: A K A Stone (#3)
Then we shouldn't have to fill out income tax forms.
#6. To: Biff Tannen (#4)
#7. To: cwrwinger (#5)
Then we shouldn't have to fill out income tax forms.
#8. To: A K A Stone (#6)
You could also reverse that and say that we are paying it all and they aren't paying any. That they raise their prices in order to pay their taxes.
Whatcha Lookin' At, Butthead
#9. To: Biff Tannen (#8)
That's true. They raise the prices to cover their tax bill.
#10. To: A K A Stone (#9)
Then they cry to the government and taxes come down.
#11. To: cwrwinger (#10)
Then they cry to the government and taxes come down.
#12. To: cwrwinger (#10)
And the gov't tells them, "We'll make business affordable for you if you further our globalist and socialist agenda."
Whatcha Lookin' At, Butthead
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