|
"Don’t Stop with Harvard"
"Does the Biden Cover-Up Have Two Layers?"
"Pete Rose, 'Shoeless' Joe Reinstated by MLB, Eligible for HOF"
"'Major Breakthrough': Here Are the Details on the China Trade Deal"
Freepers Still Love war
Parody ... Jump / Trump --- van Halen jump
"The Democrat Meltdown Continues"
"Yes, We Need Deportations Without Due Process"
"Trump's Tariff Play Smart, Strategic, Working"
"Leftists Make Desperate Attempt to Discredit Photo of Abrego Garcia's MS-13 Tattoos. Here Are Receipts"
"Trump Administration Freezes $2 Billion After Harvard Refuses to Meet Demands"on After Harvard Refuses to Meet Demands
"Doctors Committing Insurance Fraud to Conceal Trans Procedures, Texas Children’s Whistleblower Testifies"
"Left Using '8647' Symbol for Violence Against Trump, Musk"
KawasakiÂ’s new rideable robohorse is straight out of a sci-fi novel
"Trade should work for America, not rule it"
"The Stakes Couldn’t Be Higher in Wisconsin’s Supreme Court Race – What’s at Risk for the GOP"
"How Trump caught big-government fans in their own trap"
‘Are You Prepared for Violence?’
Greek Orthodox Archbishop gives President Trump a Cross, tells him "Make America Invincible"
"Trump signs executive order eliminating the Department of Education!!!"
"If AOC Is the Democratic Future, the Party Is Even Worse Off Than We Think"
"Ending EPA Overreach"
Closest Look Ever at How Pyramids Were Built
Moment the SpaceX crew Meets Stranded ISS Crew
The Exodus Pharaoh EXPLAINED!
Did the Israelites Really Cross the Red Sea? Stunning Evidence of the Location of Red Sea Crossing!
Are we experiencing a Triumph of Orthodoxy?
Judge Napolitano with Konstantin Malofeev (Moscow, Russia)
"Trump Administration Cancels Most USAID Programs, Folds Others into State Department"
Introducing Manus: The General AI Agent
"Chinese Spies in Our Military? Straight to Jail"
Any suggestion that the USA and NATO are "Helping" or have ever helped Ukraine needs to be shot down instantly
"Real problem with the Palestinians: Nobody wants them"
ACDC & The Rolling Stones - Rock Me Baby
Magnus Carlsen gives a London System lesson!
"The Democrats Are Suffering Through a Drought of Generational Talent"
7 Tactics Of The Enemy To Weaken Your Faith
Strange And Biblical Events Are Happening
Every year ... BusiesT casino gambling day -- in Las Vegas
Trump’s DOGE Plan Is Legally Untouchable—Elon Musk Holds the Scalpel
Palestinians: What do you think of the Trump plan for Gaza?
What Happens Inside Gaza’s Secret Tunnels? | Unpacked
Hamas Torture Bodycam Footage: "These Monsters Filmed it All" | IDF Warfighter Doron Keidar, Ep. 225
EXPOSED: The Dark Truth About the Hostages in Gaza
New Task Force Ready To Expose Dark Secrets
Egypt Amasses Forces on Israel’s Southern Border | World War 3 About to Start?
"Trump wants to dismantle the Education Department. Here’s how it would work"
test
"Federal Workers Concerned That Returning To Office Will Interfere With Them Not Working"
"Yes, the Democrats Have a Governing Problem – They Blame America First, Then Govern Accordingly"
|
Status: Not Logged In; Sign In
Humor
See other Humor Articles Title: A Letter from Mark Zuckerberg About Facebook’s IPO
Source:
[None]
URL Source: http://www.thedailysheeple.com/sati ... erg-about-facebooks-ipo_052012
Published: May 18, 2012
Author: The Daily Sheeple
Post Date: 2012-05-18 19:32:39 by Capitalist Eric
Keywords: None
Views: 3217
Comments: 7
Dear Potential Investor: For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too. Tomorrow is Facebook’s IPO, and I know what some of you are thinking. How will Facebook be any different from the dot-com bubble of the early 2000’s? For one thing, those bad dot-com stocks were all speculation and hype, and weren’t based on real businesses. Facebook, on the other hand, is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep. Second, Facebook is the most successful social network in the world, enabling millions to share information of no interest with people they barely know. Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes. Finally, if you invest in Facebook, you’ll be far from alone. As a result of using Facebook for the past few years, over 900 million people in the world have suffered mild to moderate brain damage, impairing their ability to make reasoned judgments. These will be your fellow Facebook investors. With your help, if all goes as planned tomorrow, Facebook’s IPO will net $100 billion. To put that number in context, it would take JP Morgan four or five trades to lose that much money. One last thing: what will, I, Mark Zuckerberg, do with the $18 billion I’m expected to earn from Facebook’s IPO? Well, I’m considering buying Greece, but that would still leave me with $18 billion. LOL. Friend me, Mark
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 7.
#2. To: Capitalist Eric (#0)
Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes. Funny stuff. I see FB as a fad and don't expect it to continue to flourish. It is a useful tool to hundreds of million of folks so it might stick around for a bit.
#3. To: Fred Mertz, Badeye (#2)
I see FB as a fad and don't expect it to continue to flourish. It is a useful tool to hundreds of million of folks so it might stick around for a bit. It keeps Badeye off the streets so it can't be all bad.
#7. To: mininggold (#3)
It keeps Badeye off the streets so it can't be all bad. Lol! That was cheeky.
Replies to Comment # 7.
There are no replies to Comment # 7.
End Trace Mode for Comment # 7.
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
|
