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Humor Title: A Letter from Mark Zuckerberg About Facebook’s IPO Dear Potential Investor: For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too. Tomorrow is Facebook’s IPO, and I know what some of you are thinking. How will Facebook be any different from the dot-com bubble of the early 2000’s? For one thing, those bad dot-com stocks were all speculation and hype, and weren’t based on real businesses. Facebook, on the other hand, is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep. Second, Facebook is the most successful social network in the world, enabling millions to share information of no interest with people they barely know. Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes. Finally, if you invest in Facebook, you’ll be far from alone. As a result of using Facebook for the past few years, over 900 million people in the world have suffered mild to moderate brain damage, impairing their ability to make reasoned judgments. These will be your fellow Facebook investors. With your help, if all goes as planned tomorrow, Facebook’s IPO will net $100 billion. To put that number in context, it would take JP Morgan four or five trades to lose that much money. One last thing: what will, I, Mark Zuckerberg, do with the $18 billion I’m expected to earn from Facebook’s IPO? Well, I’m considering buying Greece, but that would still leave me with $18 billion. LOL. Friend me, Mark Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest Reminds me of when Downtown Tokyo was worth more than the State of California. Something had to give. Facebook = Epic Fail Look forward to Enron revisited. In months.
#2. To: Capitalist Eric (#0) Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes. Funny stuff. I see FB as a fad and don't expect it to continue to flourish. It is a useful tool to hundreds of million of folks so it might stick around for a bit.
#3. To: Fred Mertz, Badeye (#2) I see FB as a fad and don't expect it to continue to flourish. It is a useful tool to hundreds of million of folks so it might stick around for a bit. It keeps Badeye off the streets so it can't be all bad. Almost every country in the Middle East is awash in oil, and we have to side with the one that has nothing but joos. Goddamn, that was good thinkin'. Esso posted on 2012-01-13 7:37:56 ET #4. To: mininggold (#3) Good point! I don't use FB unless it shows up in a search on someone or something I have an interest in.
#5. To: Fred Mertz (#4) I kept getting solicitations from Facebook to join, almost one a day. Then I found out the reason was a relative, who is a FB junky, had posted my picture without my permission. Needless to say, after I had a talk with her I don't get any more requests from FB, but now my cousin won't talk to me. So it was a win/win. Almost every country in the Middle East is awash in oil, and we have to side with the one that has nothing but joos. Goddamn, that was good thinkin'. Esso posted on 2012-01-13 7:37:56 ET #6. To: mininggold (#5) I can relate to your position on privacy as I agree with it. FB has got to be a huge data mining base available to the highest bidders. Kind of like Google being initially funded by the CIA, or so I've read. As much as I prefer anonymity in the public sector I know that is impossible with those government agencies. They know just about everything about us.
#7. To: mininggold (#3) It keeps Badeye off the streets so it can't be all bad. Lol! That was cheeky.
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