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Title: Gingrich Paid for Anal Bleachings with Government Funds
Source:
theskunk.org
URL Source: http://theskunk.org/2011/04/gingric ... achings-with-government-funds/
Published: Dec 8, 2011
Author: staff
Post Date: 2011-12-08 23:27:09 by Ferret Mike
Keywords: None
Views: 11793
Comments: 29
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — According to a statement from the Justice Department, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich paid for multiple anal bleachings during his tenure in Congress using money from his office’s general fund.
The DOJ report claims that from 1993-1999 the presidential hopeful spent over $150,000 to lighten the tint of his rectal opening.
Members of Congress are allotted an average of $1.4 million annually to run their offices.
Although it has been well-known that Gingrich was obsessed with the color of his anus, Washington insiders expressed shock to learn that thousands of dollars in over-the-counter anal bleaching products were being charged to his congressional expense account — in addition to the services of a highly regarded Washington plastic surgeon.
According to Dr. Emile L’Dros, Gingrich joked about having the procedure done to “eliminate any and all traces of my African root.”
“He was anal in his quest for perfection,” quipped L’Dros. “He wasn’t satisfied until the walls of his anus blended seamlessly with the cleavage of his milky white buttocks.”
After the initial session, Gingrich returned to L’Dros almost weekly for “touch-ups.”
“He’d show up to work following his doctor’s appointments,” remembered one staffer, “pull his trousers down, spread his cheeks and say, ‘Does it match, now?’”
Attorney General Eric Holder said the charges against Gingrich are very serious. “It doesn’t matter whether he used that money for a cheeseburger or to whiten his ebony-stained rectal cavity, the fact remains that he embezzled thousands of taxpayer dollars for his personal use, and he will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”
If convicted, Gingrich could serve 10-20 years in a federal prison, where, added Holder, “that pearly white manhole will have a lot of admirers.” (1 image)
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Well, according to PC, the only a$$holes are white.
I guess the rest are just sphincters.
Tag line: I wuz HACKED, cuz I SAY so!
#2. To: Wood_Chopper (#1)
"Although it has been well-known that Gingrich was obsessed with the color of his anus, Washington insiders expressed shock to learn that thousands of dollars in over-the-counter anal bleaching products were being charged to his congressional expense account — in addition to the services of a highly regarded Washington plastic surgeon."
I guess really, when you get down to it, all assholes are equal, but some have better skin beaching, peels and cheek lifts than others.
#3. To: Wood_Chopper (#1)
I guess I also should not just assume the Skunk is a satire site and mention that.
I don't want mad Dog or Yukon chance upon this and get too excited about the thought of seeing the great white and wrinkled whale of a politician like Newt.
#4. To: Ferret Mike, *Ron Paul for President* (#0) (Edited)
You've got a good shot at becoming Czar of Bunghole Whiteness in the Newt administration.
"We (government) need to do a lot less, a lot sooner" ~Ron Paul
Obama's watch stopped on 24 May 2008, but he's been too busy smoking crack to notice.
#5. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
Speaking of anal inserts, who pays for Barry Obama & Reggie Love's gerbils?
#6. To: Happy Quanzaa (#5)
Here to take a Polaroid of Newt's hemorrhoids?
#7. To: Ferret Mike (#3)
I guess I also should not just assume the Skunk is a satire site and mention that.
Jeeze, ya think!?! MD and the Gay Canary will go nuts until a picture is drawn for them.
I don't want mad Dog or Yukon ....
Me neither, no matter where, but especially here.
Tag line: I wuz HACKED, cuz I SAY so!
#8. To: Happy Quanzaa (#5) (Edited)
I can't address your issue,Q-pee. I ignore your threads to absorb much of them other then to note you must love Mulatto ass because you are so perpetually out to slash and trash his wifey and kids in your pursuit of it.
I don't waste time dreaming of Barack's skinny ass like you do. I know you have the pressure of concern that makes you helpless to the obsession for it, but neither the makers of Preparation H or I have any advice to give you to help you cure what ails you.
Get your nuts whacked off, maybe that will help.
#9. To: Ferret Mike (#8)
I don't waste time dreaming of Barack's skinny ass like you do.
I don't like scrawny ass either, I like big butt. Like Moochelle's!
#10. To: Ferret Mike (#2)
I guess really, when you get down to it, all assholes are equal,
Is that what Obama said to Reggie Love?
#11. To: A K A Stone (#10)
Don't be a twit. President Obama is heterosexual, and personally, I couldn't care less if he were that or homosexual.
I don't know this fictional story about a fictional relationship, and more importantly, I don't care.
There is nothing wrong with someone if they have a different sexual preference then you.
My point to Q-pee is he's a jerk. Sorry of this goes over your head.
#12. To: Gerbil Mike, A K A Stone (#11)
President Obama is heterosexual
If Barry wasn't a faggot then Donald Young, Larry Bland, and Nate Spencer would still be alive.
#13. To: Ferret Mike (#11)
I couldn't care less if he were that or homosexual.
Gross. Next time just say you don't have any morals. We will get the picture.
#14. To: Ferret Mike, wood_chopper, hondo68, buckeroo (#3)
I don't want mad Dog or Yukon chance upon this and get too excited about the thought of seeing the great white and wrinkled whale of a politician like Newt.
The boys have come up with a new CT at LP to explain yuklown gay porn postings, it's the new "hotlinking booby trap" conspiracy theory. Stretchedmind posted some hilarious comments on my biker bar thread "best day ever".
To: liberator (#104)
One of those was a hotlinking booby trap and yukon was trying to post a picture of a dog pissing on a sign. If you can't understand that you are an idiot. If you understand that and continue the narrative you have created, then you are indeed a VERY dishonorable asshole.
22rifle posted on 2011-12-08 22:39:50 ET Reply Trace
#15. To: calcon, Yukon (#14)
Do you want me to post all of Yukons emails to me. There are some contradictions in them. He did tell me to put out all the information.
I browse at LP occasionally. Yukon is an asshole. He didn't act that way on this site.
#16. To: Ferret Mike (#11)
Don't be a twit. President Obama is heterosexual, and personally, I couldn't care less if he were that or homosexual.I don't know this fictional story about a fictional relationship, and more importantly, I don't care.
There is nothing wrong with someone if they have a different sexual preference then you.
My point to Q-pee is he's a jerk. Sorry of this goes over your head.
It's that obsession with voyeurism that seems to be the common thread among the Tea Partiers.
"ROTFLMAO... Perfect! She longs... for someone to Teabag her. a man that squats on top of a women's face and lowers his genitals into her mouth during sex, known as "teabagging" She aches for it"... ~~~JWpegler. Head Tea Bagger and Tea Party supporter extraordinaire, explicitly expressing his fantasies in public about other posters.
#17. To: mininggold (#16)
It's that obsession with voyeurism that seems to be the common thread among the Tea Partiers.
Why do you like homos so much? It is weird and perverted. We don't like queers trying to recruit in our schools. They need to get the F back in the closet. If one of them ever came up and tried to recruit my kids. I'd beat the living shit out of it. There would be no mercy for the bad even if they pleaded.
#18. To: A K A Stone (#17)
Why do you like homos so much? It is weird and perverted. We don't like queers trying to recruit in our schools. They need to get the F back in the closet. If one of them ever came up and tried to recruit my kids. I'd beat the living shit out of it. There would be no mercy for the bad even if they pleaded.
God made homos, in his own likeness too. Why did he make you voyeurs?
"ROTFLMAO... Perfect! She longs... for someone to Teabag her. a man that squats on top of a women's face and lowers his genitals into her mouth during sex, known as "teabagging" She aches for it"... ~~~JWpegler. Head Tea Bagger and Tea Party supporter extraordinaire, explicitly expressing his fantasies in public about other posters.
#19. To: A K A Stone (#15)
Do you want me to post all of Yukons emails to me. There are some contradictions in them. He did tell me to put out all the information.I browse at LP occasionally. Yukon is an asshole. He didn't act that way on this site.
thanks for the offer stone but i really don't care what the moron has said, he's just a complete asshole
#20. To: mininggold, Ferret Mike, A K A Stone, calcon, Happy Quanzaa, *Liberal Rehab Staff* (#16)
Gay KKK website/Ferret>> eliminate any and all traces of my African rootIt's that obsession with voyeurism that seems to be the common thread among the Tea Partiers.
Weasel posted this gay racist thread, but he's more of a teabagger than a tea partier. Posting an article like this is enough to make ya wonder.
"We (government) need to do a lot less, a lot sooner" ~Ron Paul
Obama's watch stopped on 24 May 2008, but he's been too busy smoking crack to notice.
#21. To: hondo68 (#20)
Weasel posted this gay racist thread, but he's more of a teabagger than a tea partier. Posting an article like this is enough to make ya wonder.
But it's still quite mild compared to some of those that HQ posts.
"ROTFLMAO... Perfect! She longs... for someone to Teabag her. a man that squats on top of a women's face and lowers his genitals into her mouth during sex, known as "teabagging" She aches for it"... ~~~JWpegler. Head Tea Bagger and Tea Party supporter extraordinaire, explicitly expressing his fantasies in public about other posters.
#22. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
Posting this kind of crap confirms what I already knew about you, rat-boy: you're a closet racist.
You idiots just can't help it.
DUMMY DwarF: ...I'm eating a meatball...
Capitalist Eric: Foreplay before the president's staff?
"Whenver the dwarf sees something negative about a Democrat, he tries to change the topic of the thread to something else. Usually a personal attack, followed by mutterings about correct 'grammar' 'spelling' whatever. Anything he can think of to avoid a discussion about a Democrat screwing up or looking bad. It's a decade long pattern." --Badeye observation--
#23. To: hondo68 (#20)
Weasel posted this gay racist thread,
Nothing like demonstrating his own proclivities, eh?
Unreal.
DUMMY DwarF: ...I'm eating a meatball...
Capitalist Eric: Foreplay before the president's staff?
"Whenver the dwarf sees something negative about a Democrat, he tries to change the topic of the thread to something else. Usually a personal attack, followed by mutterings about correct 'grammar' 'spelling' whatever. Anything he can think of to avoid a discussion about a Democrat screwing up or looking bad. It's a decade long pattern." --Badeye observation--
#24. To: Capitalist Eric (#22)
Yeah, all of us race mixers are like that. <./sarcasm>
#25. To: hondo68 (#20)
Hey, if I keep you wondering, that's half the battle won.
#26. To: calcon (#14)
The boys have come up with a new CT at LP to explain yuklown gay porn postings, it's the new "hotlinking booby trap" conspiracy theory. Stretchedmind posted some hilarious comments on my biker bar thread "best day ever".
I have a new plan for this coming 2012 newyear LP. It shall broadcast the same characteristic of last year but in a far better way than the crude vulgarity displayed this year; "Beware the Ides of March" is the entirely new thematic crescendo of laffs and guffaws and knee-slapping that could just create a new Internet myth; if I have time I shall tinker with a new set of bots to stomp LP's finest.
#27. To: A K A Stone (#13)
"Gross. Next time just say you don't have any morals. We will get the picture."
Even if I agreed with your debunked notion that homosexuals are morally wrong to love in ways you find unspeakable, I still would be far more tolerant of others than you are.
I respect the Christians who say they love the sinner and hate the sin much more then the ones who don't follow their Messiah's teachings and seek to insult, vilify and dehumanize whom they don't like at every turn.
I realize that no one is perfect, but you like to turn hatred and intolerance of others into a sacrament. You really should go get some counseling on this matter.
If but for the reason no one is going to listen to you witness your faith one minute, and then attack and hate on a personal level the next and take you very seriously.
#28. To: buckeroo (#26) (Edited)
you now the boys will be freaking out about this, looks like another mission is coming up for Team Gay America
#29. To: mininggold (#16)
"It's that obsession with voyeurism that seems to be the common thread among the Tea Parties."
I notice that all these people here that like this wedge issue doesn't care if their target is gay or has something about them that reminds them of a homosexual.
It's not about morality or what is right or wrong, it's how can we use this target group to further our own political agenda.
And htese people call gays and lesbians sick. They need to look in the mirror, that is where they can truly find that.
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