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Humor
See other Humor Articles

Title: Chuckle of the Day
Source: E-Mail
URL Source: http://N/A
Published: Sep 8, 2011
Author: ME
Post Date: 2011-09-08 09:33:47 by CZ82
Keywords: None
Views: 9283
Comments: 20

At a wedding party recently someone yelled, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”

The bartender was crushed to death.

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 6.

#1. To: CZ82 (#0)

Okay, that was pretty funny.

Fred Mertz  posted on  2011-09-08   9:55:40 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Fred Mertz (#1)

Yep.

I saw this one too:

Martha's husband was cremated when he passed. Picking up the urn, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

"Remember that car you promised me? Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

"Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, insurance money!"

Finally, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?"

"Here it comes!"

war  posted on  2011-09-08   10:06:35 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#4. To: war (#2)

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything

under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says,"Yeah. I was a salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.

I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up the boss came down. "How many customers bought

something from you today? The kid says, "One".

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day.

How much was the sale for?"

The kid says, "$101,237.65".

The boss says, "$101,237.65?" What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says,"First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium

fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing

rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,

so I told him he was going to need a boat so we went down to the boat

department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him

down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a

BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said, "No the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife and I

said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot - you should go fishing'."

Fred Mertz  posted on  2011-09-08   11:03:23 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


#6. To: Fred Mertz (#4)

A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin."

The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before."

The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was ... oh, do I miss him!"

Biff Tannen  posted on  2011-09-08   13:17:34 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


Replies to Comment # 6.

#7. To: Abu el banat (#6)

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.

The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man isn’t sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.

The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you’ve sneezed and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently!

Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?"

The woman replies, "I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."

Biff Tannen  posted on  2011-09-08 13:18:56 ET  Reply   Untrace   Trace   Private Reply  


End Trace Mode for Comment # 6.

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