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Title: The American Economy is so bad that...
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URL Source: http://Unknown
Published: Aug 11, 2011
Author: Unknown
Post Date: 2011-08-11 15:14:21 by Fred Mertz
Keywords: None
Views: 2499
Comments: 2
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was badly injured when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the ¼-ouncer.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so she was re-possessed!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
African television stations are now showing “Sponsor an American Child” commercials.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally....
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Poster Comment:
Now that I read the first line I realized I haven't been getting two or three credit card offerings weekly in the mail any time lately, like I used to receive.
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The American Economy is so bad that...Florida strippers are forced to rob banks (and that is a true statement). Folks. if stripping in Florida no longer pays the bills we are screwed as a nation.
With the economy still in the dumper -- maybe permanently? -- and full-time jobs becoming as scarce as rain during a drought, huge percentages of Americans have had their (misplaced) faith in the American dream shaken, the upper-middle-class consumerist lifestyle is exposed as a mirage for anybody who plays by the rules. Capitalism and the America that embraced it as a way of life is now and forever more a failure. It does me good to know that the generation that voted in Reagan and his ideology will see their America die from that ideology before their very own eyes and knowing they had a hand in its destruction.
#2. To: Fred Mertz (#0)
The economy is so bad...republicans are joyful!!!
America...My Kind Of Place...
"I truly am not that concerned about [bin Laden]..."
--GW Bush
"THE MILITIA IS COMING!!! THE MILITIA IS COMING!!!"
--Sarah Palin's version of "The Midnight Ride of Paul revere"
I lurk to see if someone other than Myst or Pookie posts anything...
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