My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was badly injured when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the ¼-ouncer.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so she was re-possessed!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
African television stations are now showing “Sponsor an American Child” commercials.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally....
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Poster Comment:
Now that I read the first line I realized I haven't been getting two or three credit card offerings weekly in the mail any time lately, like I used to receive.
