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Title: New Definitons
Source:
E-Mail
URL Source: http://N/A
Published: Apr 12, 2011
Author: None
Post Date: 2011-04-12 19:36:31 by CZ82
Keywords: None
Views: 105209
Comments: 143
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid..
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.
3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.
7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men
Poster Comment:
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
Isn't this where the Liberals live?????
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Comments (1-33) not displayed.
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That's it, yukon. I gave you your chance to rise above your role model and you cannot. See ya, putz.
Actually, I feel sorry for you, yu-klown. Growing up with Sally as a mother would probably turn anyone queer.
#35. To: Rudgear (#34)
Bye!!!
Let's see if you keep me there for more than a day this time...
America...My Kind Of Place...
#36. To: Wood_Chopper (#13) (Edited)
oops
#37. To: Wood_Chopper (#13)
I sincerely believe, and have believed for some time, that the poster known as Gatlin is a female, most of the time.
#38. To: diva betsy ross (#36)
DEFINITELY adopted...
America...My Kind Of Place...
#39. To: war (#38) (Edited)
You are the maiden of wrongness again.
Not only did I give birth to him, I homeschooled him up and until last year, and the gifted teacher in the school has asked for my consultation on her program. :)
Goes to show you don't relate to a higher IQ. Of course anyone with a whit about them knows that high IQ's come from the Mother.
Guess I am talking over your head most of the time, so you are a bit jealous, that is understandable. BUT- THAT is about you, not me
YOU are just not that intelligent. I am.
It sucks to be you in more than 100 ways, war. This is a mere reminder of your lot in life. Stuck on the internet - in an 8th grade pissing contest- making oral sex references, and stalking me around the internet- trying desperately to gain my attention.
Really smart, war. Really wise.
#40. To: diva betsy ross (#39)
So much for me being on bozo, eh Bitsy?
On any given day, I believe you about as much as I believe Boofer...
This is a mere reminder of your lot in life. Stuck on the internet - in an 8th grade pissing contest- making oral sex references, and stalking me around the internet- trying desperately to gain my attention.
I'm in love with you Bitsy...let us run away oh shall we dear?
America...My Kind Of Place...
#41. To: diva betsy ross (#39)
the gifted teacher in the school has asked for my consultation on her program
She's definitely adopted.
-------------------------------------
Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
#42. To: Biff Tannen (#41)
She tried to make that sentence - and several of the other ones - sound "smart" instead of the tortured mass of words that it was.
Poor, poor syntax...it never had a chance...
America...My Kind Of Place...
#43. To: Biff Tannen (#41)
the gifted teacher in the school has asked for my consultation on her program
She has to be Boofer's sister. To be able to throw BS like this around takes special genes.
#44. To: Skip Intro (#43)
She has to be Boofer's sister.
Wow...
I mean...DOUBLE WOW,,,
I mean TRIPLE DOG WOW...
Dude...I think you NAILED it...
America...My Kind Of Place...
#45. To: war (#42) (Edited)
Actually, there is no correlation between what the public sees as acceptable writing skills, and high IQ. But you would have to have a decent IQ to know that.. lol. I suspect you are wonderful at proper grammar- and have an average to slightly above average IQ.
I am dyslexic. I am also highly intelligent - I am an out of the box thinker- and creative problem solver. I think about things. I don't feel things- like I suspect you do.
THAT is what IQ measures.. so for you to point out my grammar makes my case.
Learning to memorize OTHER people's rules, and adopting them as your own, does not a high IQ make.
You regurgitate what you have been forced to learn ,and you conform easily, just like the hall monitor that you are. :) You are a sheep. You follow. THAT is what proper grammar measures.
Good for you. People with high IQs don't conform. :) I love who I am. Writing skills and all.
I would much prefer to hold deep and interesting thoughts than to diagram other people's sentences- any day of the week! :)
I love being me.
#46. To: diva betsy ross (#45)
Actually, there is no correlation between what the public sees as acceptable writing skills, and high IQ.
Keep repeating that, Bitsy, and then answer me this: If I am so stupid then why is it that can I write clearly and to the point? Frame that in the context of you being both "smart" and sounding like a babbling fool.
Thanks.
America...My Kind Of Place...
#47. To: diva betsy ross (#45)
Anyone reading your about 5 to 10 of your posts thinks you are a vacuous twit.
This is our concern, dude.
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Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?
#48. To: diva betsy ross (#45)
Learning to memorize OTHER people's rules, and adopting them as your own, does not a high IQ make.
Being able to express yourself clearly is overrated.
Got it.
America...My Kind Of Place...
#49. To: war (#48)
Of course highly intelligent people, such as myself, see the irony in your comments about my grammar and IQ- on this thread.
:)
lol.. too funny. Thanks for another opportunity to laugh at your misplaced bravado. lol..
I communicate and express myself exactly as I want to- and it is always appropriate to the situation.
Of course YOU don't understand that either, because you do not have multiple inteigences. When I want to write a college term paper- I will rock one out and follow every rule. I will pull out my Kate Turabian workbook ,and cross every t.
I am versatile and resilient that way.
It sucks to be you, war. Stuck in your little box - stuck on mono focus- obsessed with oral sex jokes for titillation, and jumping on my posts- rubbing yourself up against my words and fantasizing about me.
You read my every word. I think you are a clown.
#50. To: Wood_Chopper, diva betsy ross, Liberator, war, Bill D Berger, Ferret Mike (#13)
Take a look at yukon's post in #1 of this thread. It actually belongs with another thread, not this one.
Who is it addressed to, chippy? What is it in regard to, chippy? What was Stone's last post on the thread he locked? You and your ilk aren't very bright. You are too stupid to be embarrassed. So gullible to be suckered and not man enough to admit it.
#51. To: Rudgear, Wood_Chopper, Liberator, A K A Stone (#14)
For what its worth, I think
There is little proof of that, rudy.
#52. To: Wood_Chopper, diva betsy ross, Liberator, war, Bill D Berger, Ferret Mike, *Yukon neo-Progressive Vermin* (#13)
Take a look at yukon's post in #1 of this thread. It actually belongs with another thread, not this one.
yukon is obsessed with the cover-up CT "hacked" story. Few are buying the BS but he persists in pushing his CT, by hijacking any thread.
He/she/it is a CT freak!
"We (government) need to do a lot less, a lot sooner" ~Ron Paul
I recall a re-run of MASH I saw where this uber right winger named Colonel Flagg...
Godwinson posted on 2011-02-23 11:47:32 ET
http://libertysflame.com/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=18011&Disp=46#C46
#53. To: diva betsy ross (#49)
Of course highly intelligent people, such as myself, see the irony in your comments about my grammar and IQ- on this thread.
Well...it is Wednesday which, besides being Prince Spaghetti day, is the day we all do our washing and irony.
Thanks for another opportunity to laugh at your misplaced bravado. lol..
Maybe I should have homeschooled my bravado and I wouldn't have misplaced him as much, the scamp!!!
But laughing at him is quite cruel of you. You have such a black heart, Bitsy!!!!
I communicate and express myself exactly as I want to- and it is always appropriate to the situation.
Hoo boy the self-editing I just engaged in!!!
Of course YOU don't understand that either, because you do not have multiple inteigences.
Um...if "inteigences" means what I think it means then you are correct...those tantra lessons were a real rip-off!!!
When I want to write a college term paper- I will rock one out and follow every rule. I will pull out my Kate Turabian workbook ,and cross every t.
I use the Concise English Handbook.
It's concise. Something you should try.
It sucks to be you, war.
I'll just note the irony that you stated that as I'm reading YOUR post and leave it at that.
Stuck in your little box
I actually have my own desk. I had an office when I worked for Sanwa. It was nice!!!
- stuck on mono focus-
I have no idea what that means...
obsessed with oral sex jokes for titillation,
Okay...I call bullshit...I take blow jobs quite seriously.
and jumping on my posts- rubbing yourself up against my words and fantasizing about me.
I've just alerted Masters & Johnson; I'm stuck in what can only be described as the Vortex of the Negative Arousal Threshold.
America...My Kind Of Place...
#54. To: hondo68 (#52)
The poster's story , of being hacked, is simply not logical.
#55. To: yukon (#50)
Don't PING me until you address the question about whether or not you are/were Ibluafartsky.
Thanks.
America...My Kind Of Place...
#56. To: diva betsy ross (#54)
No, it isn't. I pointed it out to him several days ago and all I got back was the usual predictable refusal to answer and another attempt on his part to derail the discussion by accusing me and others of doing what he and his coterie do as a matter of course.
The whole thing is a coordinated attempt to shut down discussion the two statist political parties don't want discussed. Increasingly with the board owner's approval. Interesting, n'est ce pas?
Actually, I feel sorry for you, yu-klown. Growing up with Sally as a mother would probably turn anyone queer.
#57. To: war, Biff Tannen, Fred Mertz, Skip Intro, Badeye, Tater, A K A Stone (#53)
Okay...I call bullshit...I take blow jobs quite seriously.
Okay. That gets you nominated to the Biff Tannen, Fred Mertz, Skip Intro time out exemption society (TOES).
Anytime I laugh hard enough to set the dogs howling is a damn fine one-liner.
Seriously though, just ignore her; I've given up worrying about her mental condition. She is just too bat-shit nuts to ever recover.
#58. To: hondo68, Wood_Chopper, diva betsy ross, Liberator, war, Bill D Berger, Ferret Mike (#52)
You're obsessd, a CT freak, sucker and not man enough to admit you were duped, coward. LOLAYDA!
#59. To: diva betsy ross (#49)
Of course highly intelligent people, such as myself,
You never answered my question.....why do you align yourself with and support foul-mouthed, gullible, suckers, faux Christian?
#60. To: war, A K A Stone (#55)
Don't PING me
I'll ping whoever in the hell I see fit to ping. Why don't you inquire of the site owner, A K A Stone?
#61. To: harrowup (#57)
Seriously though, just ignore her;
And pass up the chance to shut her up?
Never...never in hell...
She is just too bat-shit nuts to ever recover.
Skip nailed it...Boofer's sister...
America...My Kind Of Place...
#62. To: diva betsy ross, All (#59)
You never answered my question.....why do you align yourself with and support foul-mouthed, gullible, suckers, faux Christian?
Too ashamed or embarrassed to reply, faux Christian.
#63. To: war (#61)
I like her. She's just like an aunt I have on my Mom's side. When that woman comes into a room, she makes it interesting; if you find mischief and controlled chaos interesting. ;-D
#64. To: yukon (#62)
Answer my question; when you blow a fartski, does it have a brassy sound to it like a tuba gone wrong? Or is like the dying breath of an old man as if many long blunt human appendages have spent a lot of time stretching and working the orifice in question?
Just curious, mind you.
#65. To: Ferret Mike (#64)
Just curious, mind you.
Not surprised at all at WHAT you are curious about, mustelid. You and your ilk are all queer.
#66. To: Ferret Mike (#63)
Bitsy referred to me once as Satan's spawn.
My mother is a goddammed Saint.
America...My Kind Of Place...
#67. To: war (#66)
Why worry? Everyone knows Satan uses condoms and this can't be true.
I mean, look at the quality of people who go.... down there?
Even a devil of a person knows when, where and how to stick it to that crowd.
Note to A K A: (Just talking in metaphor, Stone; even us non-Christians use it) ;-D
#68. To: diva betsy ross, All (#62)
((((((CRICKETS))))))
#69. To: Ferret Mike (#67)
Why worry? Everyone knows Satan uses condoms and this can't be true.
{;^D
America...My Kind Of Place...
#70. To: diva betsy ross, buckerooAll (#62)
For a self-proclaimed highly intellectual person, it sure takes you an inordinate amount of time to formulate an answer. What's your problem DBR, are you a psycho just like buckeroo?
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
#71. To: CZ82 (#0)
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
LOL! These are great! Every single one of them.
#72. To: diva betsy ross (#10)
You see these posters all line up together and ping each other, and bring their games over here, from over there.
Why is it that no one here actually comments on the contents of the thread? Everyone seems so busy infighting. Seems like a couple of participants know only a few words or acronyms (primarily extensions of LOL). Maybe this humorous piece will increase their vocabularies.
#73. To: diva betsy ross, All (#70)
For a self-proclaimed highly intellectual person, it sure takes you an inordinate amount of time to formulate an answer. What's your problem DBR, are you a psycho?
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
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