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I AM A PROPHET and I prophesy Title: Psychic’s dead mother wishes they would talk more Psychic’s dead mother wishes they would talk more World renowned psychic and ghost whisperer Sylvia Browne has long been able to speak to the dead, but according to her deceased mother Celeste Coil, they haven’t talked in over a month. Coil is currently residing in a nearby transitional spirit realm known as the “other side”, but apparently it’s an area that is “too out of the way for Sylvia to drop by for a chat”. “In the weeks following my death, we’d talk almost every day,” said Coil, who was speaking through a carnival psychic who apparently had no trouble finding the time to talk with her for a few minutes. “But now she’s soooooo busy, I barely hear from her any more except when she’s looking for some lost heirloom. Would it kill her to conjure me up now and then?” With regular television appearances on the Montel Williams Show and Larry King Live, Browne’s psychic career took off. Life became hectic, conversations with her mother became less frequent and they began to drift apart. “Oh, she seems to be able to talk to other people’s dead relatives,” Coil said with a gravelly voice. “God forbid she checks up on me. I’m her very own mother for Pete’s sake.” Coil is also upset that her daughter has been spending a lot of time with her spirit guide, Francine. “There used to be a time when Sylvia would look to me for vague advice and empty affirmations,” she said. Coil continues to worry about her daughter. Following Browne’s last divorce, she tried to reach out to her more often but without much success. Browne was spending more time on her new career as a television psychic and was focused on convincing a lot of people that she could read their future, connect them with their lost loved ones and even solve crimes. But Coil was concerned that the spirits influencing her daughter are leading her astray. “She’s running with the wrong crowd of trans-dimensional apparitions and I think they’ve been a bad influence on my Sylvie. They are telling her things that aren’t true,” said Coil’s disembodied voice, as sensed by a pet psychic through a three-year old chocolate lab in Phoenix, AZ. Coil is referring to Browne’s false prognostications over the years and the deception of grieving families like the Hornbecks, who in 2003 were told by Browne that their missing 11-year old son Shawn was dead and buried in a wooded area near “two jagged boulders”. In 2007, much to the relief of the Hornbecks and to the embarrassment of Browne, their son was found alive and living with his abductor in an apartment in a St. Louis suburb. “I don’t like to see my little girl be played for a fool. Why are they deceiving my child?” asked Coil, whose question was conveyed through the static of a television in a Newark, NJ apartment. As Browne continued to pull away, Coil still hoped to be a part of her daughter’s life. She even offered a way to take care of her financially for the rest of her life. “I”m only trying to help,” Coil said. ”We could go to the casinos, like a girls’ night out, and I could make her a killing on the gaming tables. You really only need to be slightly better than chance to rake in the cash an I could, you know, nudge the roulette ball a bit.” In high stakes blackjack alone Coil claims she could make her daughter a billionaire in a matter weeks. She says she could stand right behind the dealer. “Really, it’s not a problem,” Coil said. “I would know what the dealer has in his hand and I’d be screaming ‘Double down! Double Down!’” Browne claims that she provides a much needed service to her clients and isn’t in it for the money. “I wish mom would just stop,” Browne said. “I already make millions providing my gift to people who need my help.” Earning tens of thousands of dollars in appearance fees alone, Browne selflessly tells the grief-stricken that their deceased loved one, whose name starts or ends with an “S” or an “M”, loves whichever person in the audience nodded when Browne offered up the clue. Browne also charges $750 per hour to tell her clients that their deceased family member, who apparently died of something having to do with the upper torso or head area, has forgiven them for that bad thing they did that one time many years ago. Coil looks forward to the day that they will spend more time together and said that when her daughter finally joins her on the other side they’ll have plenty to talk about. Until that time comes, Coil accepts that her daughter is busy, and will be patient. But she still holds out hope that they will reconnect soon. “It doesn’t take a lot of time for her to just close her eyes, take a deep breath, and get a strong feeling like I’m in the room,” Coil said. ”I’ll be there for my baby. It’s not like I have anything else going on.”
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