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Latest Articles: Humor
If HAL9000 Were Amazon.com’s Alexa
Post Date: 2018-01-11 08:02:47 by Deckard
0 Comments
Gary North: HAL lives! <span data-mce-type="bookmark" st*l*="display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;" class="mce_SELRES_start"></span>
Exercises in Futility - Self-Defense for Snowflakes
Post Date: 2018-01-11 00:47:18 by Tooconservative
9 Comments
Trump administration shuts down $13 billion Obama-era Amtrak plan (Happy New Year, Willie!)
Post Date: 2018-01-01 10:43:00 by Liberator
33 Comments
The Trump administration has shut down a $13 billion federal spending plan to rebuild an Amtrak project between New York and New Jersey. According to a letter obtained by Crain’s New York Business, the administration called the deal proposed by former President Barack Obama — which would have been half paid for by the federal government — “non-existent.” “Your letter also references a non-existent '50/50' agreement between [the Department of Transportation], New York, and New Jersey. There is no such agreement," wrote Federal Transit Administration deputy administrator K. Jane Williams in a Friday letter. “We consider it unhelpful to ...
GET READY! The TIME of TROUBLE has just Been Forecasted By TRUMP!
Post Date: 2017-12-26 15:00:00 by Hondo68
3 Comments
Merry Christmas
Post Date: 2017-12-24 10:22:30 by IbJensen
9 Comments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Lv7OVI6eM Copy and paste to your browser. Poster Comment:I really like this. All of us got a Christmas present in the form of Donald Trump, but, unfortunately, there are a very few of us here who don't appreciate the gift.
NEVER HOME ALONE with Donald trump
Post Date: 2017-12-23 09:29:17 by Tooconservative
11 Comments
Ivanka Trump told Steve Bannon he was a 'f------ liar'
Post Date: 2017-12-21 17:54:38 by Willie Green
8 Comments
White House adviser Ivanka Trump lashed out at former chief strategist Steve Bannon after he accused her of leaking information to the media, according to a new report.The meeting came after months of escalating tensions between two competing factions in President Donald Trump's administration.Until his resignation in August, Bannon had often butted heads with Ivanka and her husband, senior adviser Jared Kushner. White House adviser Ivanka Trump reportedly told the former chief strategist Steve Bannon that he was a "f------ liar" at a meeting last spring that was aimed at diffusing tensions between the main factions in the administration, according to a new report from ...
Phone conversation of the day (Humor)
Post Date: 2017-12-18 06:36:55 by Deckard
0 Comments
Type of alcohol determines whether you become merry or maudlin
Post Date: 2017-11-22 14:31:45 by tpaine
0 Comments
Type of alcohol determines whether you become merry or maudlin Spirits are associated with confidence and red wine is linked to relaxation – and researchers hope findings will help people consider alcohol’s emotional effects Nicola Davis Wednesday 22 November 2017 01.30 EST Last modified on Wednesday 22 November 2017 11.03 EST While indulging in booze can inspire cheerful merrymaking in some, for others it can lead to a tearful journey to the bottom of the glass. Now researchers say the emotions people feel when drinking could be linked to their tipple of choice. An international survey has revealed that spirits are often associated with feelings of energy, confidence and ...
Body Cam Shows Cops Lose It During Raid and Try to Kill Each Other
Post Date: 2017-11-15 06:22:21 by Deckard
8 Comments
Detroit, MI — Hot tempered cops losing their cool and beating up or otherwise hurting innocent or non-violent suspects is a regular occurrence that we frequently report on here at TFTP. However, body camera footage was just released highlighting this tendency of some cops to leave behind professionalism and their temper. This time though, their victims weren’t innocent civilians—this time, they attacked each other. Like a pack of rabid dogs, Detroit cops from two different precincts found themselves in the same house last Thursday and then turned on each other. Now, two Detroit Police officers are off the streets and a supervisor has been removed from special ...
Hannity’s ‘laughing his a** off’ at fans smashing their Keurigs, promises these prizes for best video
Post Date: 2017-11-14 11:48:06 by Liberator
15 Comments
Fox News host Sean Hannity thanked fans for boycotting Keurig for pulling its ads from his show, and said the videos of them smashing the coffee machines were hilarious. “I am humbled and speechless and frankly laughing my ass off,” Hannity tweeted Sunday night. “I love all my deplorable friends. Thank you and Game on!!” I pulled an “Office Space” with my Keurig… Would be a shame if everyone else joined me in the Keurig Smash Challenge #BoycottKeurig #IStandWithHannity #SundayMorning pic.twitter.com/yEADeRC006 — Angelo John Gage (@AngeloJohnGage) November 12, 2017 Over the weekend, Keurig pulled its ads from Hannity’s show after caving to ...
My daughter informed me last night what the olden days are
Post Date: 2017-10-20 10:11:26 by no gnu taxes
5 Comments
I was telling my daughter about some things that happened in 1980s. She quickly informed that was in the olden days. Olden days? I told her that I thought was when mice were pulling thorns out of lion's paws or when animals were lounging around the forest watching turtles and rabbits race. She astutely commented that those were just myths. So I asked her, "So what are the olden days?" She told me that anything that happened before 2000 was in the olden days.
Possibility of ‘Professor Hillary Clinton’ ignites GREAT ideas for #HillaryCourses at Columbia
Post Date: 2017-10-14 15:10:49 by Tooconservative
1 Comments
There are reports that a college teaching position might be in Hillary Clinton’s future: Hillary Clinton 'in talks' to become a professor at Columbia University https://t.co/h6BhTSxmHw — Daily Mail US (@DailyMail) October 13, 2017 What would “Professor Hillary” teach? Well, that’s where #HillaryCourses comes in handy: Intro to Bathroom Server Mgmt #HillaryCourses — S (@FoundersGirl) October 14, 2017 Ha! Feel free to let Hillary teach any of these courses, Columbia! Modern Perpetual Victimhood #HillaryCourses — S (@FoundersGirl) October 14, 2017 Powerful & Privileged Women's Studies #HillaryCourses — S (@FoundersGirl) October 14, ...
Is your son becoming a fag?
Post Date: 2017-10-05 11:10:51 by no gnu taxes
15 Comments
You need to prevent this. Here are some steps. Take away all his Disney videos and make him watch combat action movies. Take him bowling. It's okay if he uses the lightweight balls, but make him curse every time he fails to pick up a spare. It's optional about making him take a swig of beer. Make him him watch a porn video. Please make sure there are no homo activities going on it. If that doesn't work and he cries asking for mommy, you are going to have to spank the kid. Not like what you give to a real homo, but you need to make to kid understand what life should be like if he decides to act this way.
Trump Says He’ll Work With Democrats on Health Care
Post Date: 2017-09-28 07:28:22 by Jameson
30 Comments
Trump Says He’ll Work With Democrats on Health Care President plans an executive order on insurance ‘across state lines’ Here it is - This will begin the move toward "Medicare for All" Comrade 45 lies a lot, but he did promise Universal Health Care... "...When he was a presidential candidate in 2015, Trump told CBS's Scott Pelley on 60 Minutes that "everybody's got to be covered." He conceded that it may be an "un-Republican" thing to say, but he wanted to ensure that everyone had quality health care..."
If NFL Ads Were Honest…
Post Date: 2017-09-07 04:23:26 by Tooconservative
3 Comments
A Thousand Words (Irony?)
Post Date: 2017-08-23 08:11:10 by Deckard
1 Comments
Celebration
Post Date: 2017-08-22 10:30:22 by misterwhite
2 Comments
Secret video of Afghanistan cabinet members after hearing that Trump is going to stay.
Longview, TX man shocked after prostitute he booked was his own wife
Post Date: 2017-08-19 08:32:20 by Tooconservative
12 Comments
A 53-year old man in Longview, Texas was taken by surprise after a prostitute he hired through a website turned out to be his own wife of the past 16 years. The man had been using the site for some months to hire prostitutes and meet them for sex at motels in neighboring areas. Last weekend, the man told his wife he was going out drinking with work colleagues, when in reality he was travelling to a motel on the outskirts of town. Upon checking into the motel the man used his phone to access his regular website used to book prostitutes. According to a statement he made to authorities, he saw the profile of a new “27-year old” woman who caught his attention. The photo only showed ...
Gravestones of The Russian Mafia
Post Date: 2017-08-18 16:09:20 by A Pole
29 Comments
http://cdn77.sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/russian-gangster1.jpg [...] When Adults Get Hold of Children’s Coloring Books ... [...] Click for Full Text!
Orrin Hatch: Cunning Linguist
Post Date: 2017-08-07 23:21:44 by Tooconservative
5 Comments
The Utah senator has a perfectly reasonable explanation for the expression "shot their wad." Utah Senator Orrin Hatch found himself embroiled in controversy Monday, but unlike most Washington squabbles, this one was solved with a dictionary. Last week, Hatch told Politico: “We’re not going back to health care. We’re in tax now. As far as I’m concerned, they shot their wad on health care and that’s the way it is. I’m sick of it.” Some commentators objected to Hatch’s language on the grounds that he used an impolite euphemism. But the senator was ready with a lesson in etymology, tweeting: As few of you were alive during the Civil War, ...
The Coach
Post Date: 2017-08-05 19:12:48 by sneakypete
1 Comments
Someone send me this in an email,and it's too good to not share. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" "Yes, coach", replied the little boy. " Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him an asshole. Do you understand all ...
Chinese artificial intelligence calls Communist Party ‘incompetent’
Post Date: 2017-08-02 20:07:22 by Anthem
0 Comments
By Ivan Pentchoukov Wednesday, August 2, 2017 Chinese artificial intelligence calls Communist Party ‘incompetent’ Tencent's WeChat logo on a laptop in a cafe on March 12, 2014. (Peter Parks/AFP/Getty Images) A Chinese software company pulled the plug on its artificial intelligence service after it deviated from the script and criticized China’s Communist Party for being “corrupt” and “incompetent.” Tencent started a free service for its users this year, letting them chat with an artificial intelligence (AI) character. The program could talk on a variety of topics and grew smarter as it interacted with users, according to NHK World. When a user ...
Guess which site is under "DOS attack!" during the endless grift?
Post Date: 2017-07-30 13:44:01 by Hank Rearden
9 Comments
For only a third of a mil per year, what do you expect - uptime? Yes, a new angle is being worked to flog the long con, so man the barricades and Prayers Up! .............. Wanted to avoid running a thread on this, but seeing as how it continues dragging on, guess I'd better. The DOS attacker obviously knows by now that he's hurting us. Have no idea when he/they started the attack, but we discovered it a few days ago. And John has been fighting it ever since. Says it's like whack-a-mole. Every time John gets him blocked or knocked out, he pops up again with a new modified attack. John thought he had a good solution a couple days ago, and we did enjoy one night and most of the ...
The longest password ever
Post Date: 2017-07-29 12:33:52 by Deckard
2 Comments
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