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Latest Articles: Humor
Bachmann Labels HPV Vaccine Order ‘Perrycare’
Post Date: 2011-09-16 19:05:32 by Brian S
5 Comments
Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann told supporters in Costa Mesa, California Friday that President Barack Obama's plan was to allow the Medicare system to collapse so it could be replaced with "Obamacare." "I was in the White House a couple of months ago with President Obama and we asked him the question, 'Mr. President, Medicare is in trouble, it's in trouble, what is your plan?'" she recalled. "And he mumble, mumble, mumbled and didn't answer the question. And then we asked him a second time, 'What's your plan for Medicare?' He mumble, mumble, mumbled, didn't answer the question. We asked asked him a third time, ...
‘Let Him Die’ Incident Used For Pro-Health Care Ad Campaign
Post Date: 2011-09-14 20:00:35 by Brian S
1 Comments
A Democrat-affiliated group has turned the "let him die" incident during the CNN/Tea Party debate into an online ad campaign targeting eight Republican presidential candidates. During the debate on Monday night, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer asked Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) if society should just let a man die if he was in a coma and also did not have health care insurance. The audience responded with shouts of "Yes!" and clapped in support of the idea. The group Protect Your Care has made the incident into an online ad, available at www.LetHimDie.com, which will run on news sites in the early voting states Florida, Iowa and New Hampshire. The ad cycles through different ...
From a guy in Texas to his Neighbor
Post Date: 2011-09-10 12:17:38 by CZ82
0 Comments
My neighbor is a "lefty" of sorts (Obama bumper stickers, gung-ho socialized medicine, "guns should be banned", etc.). So this past spring I put this sign up in my yard after one of his anti-gun rants at a neighborhood cocktail party. The sign wasn't up more than an hour before he called the police and wanted them to make me take down the sign. Fortunately, the officer politely informed him that it was not their job to take such action without a court order and that he had to file a complaint "downtown" first, which would be reviewed by the city attorney to see if it violated any city, county, or state ordinances, which if there was a violation a court ...
Obama Brings Guests To Jobs Speech (GE chairman Jeffrey Immelt, AOL co-founder Steve Case, AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka; and Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley and more...)
Post Date: 2011-09-08 14:55:12 by Brian S
7 Comments
This is turning into a State of the Union-like event. The White House has announced that nearly two-dozen guests will sit with first lady Michelle Obama to watch President Obama deliver his jobs speech to a joint session of Congress. The list of business, labor, and political leaders includes GE chairman Jeffrey Immelt, AOL co-founder Steve Case, AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka; and Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley. House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, will also have guests in the gallery: "More than a dozen private-sector job creators," according to a statement from his office. These business people are "being hampered by excessive regulations from Washington," ...
Chuckle of the Day
Post Date: 2011-09-08 09:33:47 by CZ82
20 Comments
At a wedding party recently someone yelled, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.” The bartender was crushed to death.
Evangelicals Left Off National Cathedral 9/11 Program
Post Date: 2011-09-06 19:29:25 by Brian S
0 Comments
A weekend of religious-themed observances at Washington National Cathedral marking the tenth anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks will include a Buddhist nun and an Imam, but not an evangelical Christian, leading the head of the Southern Baptist Convention to ask President Obama to reconsider attending the event. “A Call to Compassion” will include an interfaith prayer vigil on Sept. 11. It will feature the dean of the Cathedral, the Bishop of Washington, a rabbi, Buddhist nun and incarnate lama, a Hindu priest, the president of the Islamic Society of North America and a Muslim musician. However, Southern Baptists, representing the nation’s largest Protestant ...
Fox News Concerned About ‘Hate Speech’ From Obama Supporters
Post Date: 2011-09-05 15:23:31 by Brian S
3 Comments
Fox News contributor Brad Blakeman Monday rebuked Teamster president Jimmy Hoffa Jr. for using “hate speech” at a Labor Day rally in Detroit prior to remarks from President Barack Obama. After presenting what appeared to be heavily edited video of Hoffa referring to Republicans by saying, “let’s take these sons of bitches out,” Fox News host Megyn Kelly gave Blakeman a chance to respond. “I think it’s thuggery at it’s best,” Blakeman replied. “It’s what unions are good at. It’s what we’ve seen in Wisconsin and other places, intimidation… This is the touchy feely act before President Obama arrives? I mean, these are the ...
Lewis Gone, But Telethon Brings In More Than '10
Post Date: 2011-09-05 12:43:46 by Brian S
0 Comments
(09-05) 08:35 PDT LAS VEGAS, (AP) -- Even without Jerry Lewis, the Muscular Dystrophy Association telethon posted its best gain since the recession started, though the program's longtime host was on the minds of many during the 46th annual fundraiser. "American Idol" executive producer Nigel Lythgoe said after co-hosting Sunday's program that he's sorry the famed comedian didn't participate, but the organization needs to move on to ensure the fundraiser continues. The telethon raised nearly $61.5 million Sunday, an increase of about $2.6 million over last year, MDA officials said. Lythgoe told The Associated Press minutes after the six-hour live broadcast ended ...
The Human Brain Named Itself The Human Brain
Post Date: 2011-09-02 00:33:53 by A K A Stone
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The human brain named itself the human brain.
This Truck Contains Obamas Stimulus Package!
Post Date: 2011-09-01 22:16:29 by CZ82
1 Comments
Obozo Speech Bingo
Post Date: 2011-09-01 19:02:59 by CZ82
4 Comments
Melissa Harris-Perry: ‘Rick Perry Wants To Get All Up In Your Uterus And Take A Picture’
Post Date: 2011-08-31 11:35:58 by Brian S
1 Comments
Filling in on the Rachel Maddow Show on Tuesday night, Tulane professor and MSNBC commentator Melissa Harris-Perry took Texas Governor and GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry to task for supporting “government so small that you don’t even notice it” on the one hand and the inconsistency of supporting the Texas sonogram law on the other. Harris-Perry said that Gov. Perry “wants the government to be so small that it doesn’t provide a social safety net, that it doesn’t support you when you grow old and retire and need health care. That’s big government and he wants to set us free from those shackles …So, Rick Perry’s version of small government ...
NewsBusted: Did a Flash Mob Ruin Our Economy?
Post Date: 2011-08-30 09:00:28 by Happy Quanzaa
2 Comments
Wisconsin Union Council Bans Republicans From Labor Day Parade
Post Date: 2011-08-29 11:00:25 by Brian S
1 Comments
Over the years, the meaning of Labor Day has been lost on many. Now a generation removes from the predominance of abusive working conditions, many Americans today fail to understand the importance of celebrating the fight to win vacation hours, overtime pay, lunch breaks, weekends, restrictions on child labor, maternity leave and employer-sponsored health care. But the symbolism of Labor Day is not lost on the people of Wausau, Wisconsin: Amid an unprecedented fight with Republicans over labor rights in their state, organizers of this year's Labor Day parade have decided to exclude the state's conservatives from participating. "Usually they've been in the parade, but it ...
Amnesty International Sets Up Twitter Account Mocking Dick Cheney
Post Date: 2011-08-25 20:13:59 by Brian S
3 Comments
The human rights organization Amnesty International has set up a Twitter account named "Cheney's Conscience" that mocks the former vice president and links to a petition calling on U.S. Attorney General Holder to open a torture investigation. "Is it Friday yet?! Who knew whitewashing #torture would be this hard?" a tweet from August 23 said. "Look, of course waterboarding isn’t #torture. The lawyers I instructed to tell me it wasn’t torture said so!" said another from August 19. The bio of the Twitter page admits that the account is intended as a parody, but adds "there's nothing funny about war crimes." It also says Cheney's ...
Rick Perry and Obama go Hiking
Post Date: 2011-08-24 19:25:32 by Abcdefg
2 Comments
So Rick and Obama are hiking and Rick goes behind a tree to pee. Then a snake bites Rick on the end of his private part. He yells out in pain and runs up to Obama and says, "You gotta suck out the poison!" And Obama did.
You Know You're a Tea Bagger If...
Post Date: 2011-08-24 16:51:39 by Brian S
24 Comments
As the 2012 presidential campaign intensifies, there's been much speculation as to the philosophies, motivations and overall composition of Tea Party constituents. To help clarify any lingering confusion and to help define these passionate Americans, I offer the following Litmus Test: You know you're a Tea Bagger if: 1. You hate science and the corrupt scientists who manufacture data in nefarious schemes 2. You think global warming is a hoax 3. You think there are hundreds of Nobel Peace Prize-winning scientists who believe in Intelligent Design 4. You think Social Security, Medicare and "big government" are mutually-exclusive 5. You think God is an evangelical ...
Top politically themed earthquake tweets
Post Date: 2011-08-24 07:48:36 by Happy Quanzaa
13 Comments
After Washington DC realized that the earthquake was nothing to worry about, they took to Twitter to joke about the source of the quake. Some of the best ones below: @TPCarney: Krugman says it wasn't big enough. @comradescott: Evidently the quake occurred on a little known fault line outside of DC called "Bush's Fault". #tcot #p2 @calebhowe: Breaking: Obama administration points out they "inherited" fault lines from previous administrations. @MaizeBlueNation: Fox News claims the Washington monument is leaning to the right, MSNBC claims it's leaning to the left. More news at 11. @charliespiering: I won't stop shaking until Obama makes a speech telling ...
NY fugitive taunts police on Facebook to catch him
Post Date: 2011-08-16 07:01:40 by CZ82
1 Comments
NY fugitive taunts police on Facebook to catch him Published - Jul 28 2011 08:53AM EST NEW YORK — A fugitive from upstate New York who taunted police on his Facebook page to `catch me if you can. I'm in Brooklyn' has been arrested. The Daily News says U.S. marshals and NYPD detectives tracked Victor Burgos down to an apartment in Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood Monday night, sitting at his computer with his Facebook page open. The 29-year-old suspect was wanted by Utica police on multiple arrest warrants for domestic violence and harassment of his former girlfriend. He allegedly issued the Facebook challenge after his mug shot appeared on the Utica Police ...
Stupid/Humorous Liberal Quotes
Post Date: 2011-08-15 17:59:25 by CZ82
0 Comments
Al Gore: To a tour guide at Monticello after seeing busts of George Washington and Ben Franklin. "Who are these people?" Hillary Clinton: She wrote this for the Harvard Education Review--“The basic rational for depriving people of their rights in a dependency relationship, is that certain individuals are incapable of or undeserving of the right to take care of themselves and consequently need social institutions specifically designed to safeguard their position…. Along with the family, past and present examples of such arrangements include marriage, slavery and the Indian reservation system” John Kerry: "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you ...
5 Minute Management Course
Post Date: 2011-08-15 08:18:53 by CZ82
0 Comments
5 Minute Management Course Lesson 1 : A priest offered a Nun a lift... She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg..... The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand.. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak..' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and ...
Three Holy men and a bear
Post Date: 2011-08-15 07:53:27 by sneakypete
1 Comments
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette . They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, ...
Germany: Far-Right Party Stirs Uproar With 'Step On Gas' Election Ad...
Post Date: 2011-08-14 19:20:01 by Brian S
6 Comments
BERLIN – Just a month before the Berlin state elections, the German capital has been flooded with posters issued by the far-Right National Democratic Party (NPD) with the shocking slogan: "Step on gas." The election ad shows party leader Udo Voigt sitting on a motorcycle, wearing a black leather jacket (a popular piece of clothing among Neo-Nazis due to its resemblance of SS uniform), with the words "Gas geben!" – literally translated as "give gas". Voigt hopes to be elected to the Berlin council for the first time. His party representatives are already members of local councils in neighborhoods across the German capital. Naturally, ...
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Post Date: 2011-08-14 18:42:58 by CZ82
2 Comments
DIVORCE AGREEMENT Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement: --Our ...
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