|
Latest Articles: Humor
The Bank Robbery
Post Date: 2012-07-30 18:36:05 by sneakypete
4 Comments
A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The Robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?” There are a few moments of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, ...
Slow Growth Leaves Room for Obama to Win Re-Election
Post Date: 2012-07-27 11:40:26 by Brian S
1 Comments
The slow growth reported for the second quarter is enough to allow President Barack Obama an edge in his re-election bid, according to a forecasting model based on the economy and polling data. The U.S. economy grew at a 1.5 percent annual rate from April through June, in line with forecasts and slowing from a revised 2.0 percent rate during the first three months of the year, the Commerce Department reported today. “It puts Obama just barely above the break-even point,” said Alan Abramowitz, a political science professor at Emory University in Atlanta and developer of the forecasting model. “Mainly it tells me we’re heading to a very close election and Obama is a ...
"Mitt The Twit": Uk Morning Papers Blast Romney Visit
Post Date: 2012-07-27 11:37:09 by Brian S
1 Comments
The DNC has a video summarizing the US and British coverage, then screen caps of 23 newspaper headlines in the UK:And here's video of the mayor of London dissing Romney:
Officials work to identify 'goat man' seen trailing herd in Utah mountains
Post Date: 2012-07-23 20:31:55 by calcon
5 Comments
Utah authorities are working to identify a man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah. The photographer who snapped blurry photos of the individual, dubbed "goat man," told Fox affiliate KSTU-TV that he spotted the man Sunday as he was descending Ben Lomond peak, about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City. "He was clumsy, working his way down the cliff trying to catch up with the rest of the herd," photographer Coty Creighton told the station. "With the binoculars, I could clearly see it was a guy dressed up in a homemade goat suit." Creighton said the man appeared to be wearing heavy gloves so he could crawl ...
George W. Bush Will Not Attend Republican National Convention
Post Date: 2012-07-21 12:06:20 by Brian S
5 Comments
According to Politico, former president George W. Bush will not be attending the Republican National Convention in Tampa next month. “President Bush was grateful for the invitation to the Republican National Convention,” Bush spokesman Freddy Ford wrote to the website. “He supports Governor Romney and wants him to succeed. President Bush is confident that Mitt Romney will be a great President. But he’s still enjoying his time off the political stage and respectfully declined the invitation to go to Tampa.” Politico notes that Bush’s decision saves the Romney campaign from “having to face the delicate question” of whether to invite the unpopular ...
THE REAL EXPERTS ON OBAMA/ROMNEY CARE SPEAK OUT
Post Date: 2012-07-20 14:50:13 by rowdee
0 Comments
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be ...
Go Stand in the Corner, Yuktard
Post Date: 2012-07-19 19:35:21 by calcon
5 Comments
#36. To: yukon - TIMEOUT -- 2 weeks (#31) I am trying to read this article, and I've found that your insistance on bashing someone after being politely and repeatedly asked to stop, is destructive to the thread. You cannot ALWAYS be right. You cannot ALWAYS attack someone who has not attacked you on a thread. On THIS thread you have become disruptive. And NO ONE was bothering you at all. Thus, you now have a 2 week timeout. Please take the time to review your actions, and your agression. It seems to have spiked and gotten out of control recently. I don't want to make your timeout permanent, but if you return and conduct yourself in the same agressive manner, I will consider ...
It's been brought to my attention ...
Post Date: 2012-07-19 16:29:49 by BorisY
1 Comments
It's been brought to my attention by a young lady ... her pet peeve is --- the whole world is saying the letter oh to the # 0 ! Please stop !
Poster Comment: I hope matt drudge will do something about this !
Bush Recalls ‘Awesome’ Presidency: ‘I Was Famous And Powerful’
Post Date: 2012-07-18 12:14:13 by Brian S
1 Comments
In a recent interview, George W. Bush fondly recalled his eight-year presidency as “awesome,” but said he wasn’t eager to get back into public life. “I really don’t want to be in the public eye anymore,” the former president told the Hoover Institute’s Peter Robinson in an interview posted to YouTube on Tuesday. “Look, eight years was awesome,” Bush explained. “You know, I was famous and I was powerful, but I have no desire for fame and power anymore.” “I don’t want to undermine our president — whoever is president,” he added. “And a former president can do that. And I think it’s bad for the presidency ...
Study: People Who Are Constantly Online Can Develop Mental Disorders
Post Date: 2012-07-17 22:25:09 by calcon
6 Comments
CHARLOTTE (CBS Charlotte) — Get off that computer. A new study finds that constantly being online can affect your mental health. Researchers at the University of Gothenburg recently studied more than 4,100 Swedish men and women between the ages of 20 and 24 for a year and found that a majority of them who constantly use a computer and mobile phones can develop stress, sleeping disorders and depression. Sara Thomee, lead author of the study, said there was a “central link” between computers and mental disorders. “High quantitative use was a central link between computer use and stress, sleep disturbances, and depression, described by the young adults,” Thomee said ...
Limbaugh: Batman Villain ‘Bane’ Could Be Conspiracy To Defeat Romney
Post Date: 2012-07-17 17:51:18 by Brian S
13 Comments
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh on Tuesday suggested that Hollywood liberals have been plotting for years to release the third and final Batman movie before the election in 2012 with a villain who’s name sounds like GOP hopeful Mitt Romney’s former company, Bain Capital. “Do you know the name of the villain in this movie?” Limbaugh asked his listeners. “Bane. The villain in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there is now this make-believe controversy? Bain.” “The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date has been known — ...
Robot Bar
Post Date: 2012-07-17 07:21:51 by CZ82
10 Comments
Guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender! The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey." The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey. Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, ...
THE DAILY CHUCKLE: ADL Says Pro-Life 'Wailing Wall' Planned for Witchita, Kan. Would Pervert Meaning of Judaism's Holiest Site
Post Date: 2012-07-16 17:10:49 by Brian S
0 Comments
New York, NY, July 16, 2012 … The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) today said an effort led by two pastors to build an international pro-life "memorial" in Wichita, Kansas -- encompassing what is being described as an exact replica of the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem – is "an outrageous affront to the Jewish people" and a perversion of Judaism's holiest site. Wichita-based Pastors Rob Rotola of the Word of Life Church and Mark Holick of the Spirit One Christian Ministry are heading a group that has announced plans for construction of an "International Pro-Life Memorial & National Life Center" in Wichita, describing it as "a place of repentance, ...
Top 12 Stupid Reasons to Vote for a Democrat
Post Date: 2012-07-15 15:59:03 by CZ82
1 Comments
Top 12 Stupid Reasons to Vote for a Democrat Gary DeMar When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted for a Democrat, give them this list. 1. I voted for a Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t. 2. I voted for a Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. 3. I voted for a Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. 4. I voted for a Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me ...
Photos Of Romney And Cheney Together Forbidden At Wyoming Fundraiser
Post Date: 2012-07-14 15:03:48 by Brian S
2 Comments
Former Vice President Dick Cheney remains so unpopular with the American people that photographers at a Thursday night fundraiser for presumptive Republican nominee Gov. Mitt Romney (R-MA) were ordered not to photograph the two men together, according to Think Progress. Romney supporters and handlers fear that photos of the candidate with Cheney or former President George W. Bush could damage the former governor’s chances against President Barack Obama in November. The LA Times said, “The legacy of Bush’s administration — the Iraq war, the increase in the federal debt burden and the nation’s spiral into recession at the end of 2008 — cast a long shadow over ...
Jimmy Kimmel Presents Crying ‘Boehner Baby’ Doll
Post Date: 2012-07-13 16:59:58 by Brian S
4 Comments
On “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Thursday, host Jimmy Kimmel paid tribute to our Speaker of the House, the most powerful Republican in the country, Congressman John Boehner (R-OH). Recently, at a reception honoring Italian artist Constantino Brumidi, Boehner welled up with tears, as he frequently does. Kimmel pointed out that, in case you haven’t noticed, John Boehner cries a lot. Like, a whole lot. He cries giving speeches, he cries at his own election night vote-watching parties, he cries during puff-piece, soft focus “60 Minutes” interviews. “This guy, he’s super tan, he cries, he smokes and drinks. He should be Speaker of the ‘Jersey Shore’ ...
Libs Say the Darndest Things
Post Date: 2012-07-13 13:04:14 by SJN
2 Comments
In my never-ending effort to understand the liberal mind, I'm beginning to scribble down nutty sayings from the liberals I happen to run into. I call it Libs say the darnedest things. This idea started for me a couple of weeks ago, when a lefty cat-lady (a big demographic) told me with a hypnotic stare, "There are no facts." Wow. Floored in one. I was left gaga. Couldn't figure out what to say that would get through her concrete space helmet. So I staggered off and had a drink. This one has gone viral in the lefto-psychosphere. You get 2,560,000 google hits for "There are no facts." Such little mindworms tell us about our age of ignorance and superstition. ...
Afscme Mocks ‘The Boehner Bunch’ In New Video
Post Date: 2012-07-11 11:57:10 by Brian S
0 Comments
The AFSCME, a union representing 1.6 million public service workers, on Tuesday uploaded a video to YouTube that humorously criticizes Republicans for their opposition to the Affordable Care Act. The video, based on the intro to the 1970′s sitcom The Brady Bunch, claims that “working people don’t matter” to prominent Republicans like House Speaker John Boehner (OH), Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (KY) and Florida Gov. Rick Scott. All the Republicans in the video have vowed to do whatever they can to repeal President Barack Obama’s health care reform law. googletag.cmd.push(function() { ...
Pat Buchanan ‘Hopes’ There Will Be No Female President In His Lifetime
Post Date: 2012-07-09 19:18:12 by Brian S
1 Comments
Conservative pundit and former Republican presidential candidate Pat Buchanan is hopeful that a woman will not become president of the United States for at least the next 30 years. During a panel discussion on PBS over the weekend, host John McLaughlin asked Buchanan when the U.S. would elect the first female president. “2040 or 2050,” Buchanan predicted. “That late?” McLaughlin wondered. “Let’s hope so,” Buchanan replied with a chuckle. “They’re not even considering any woman for vice president on the Republican ticket,” he later added. “I was joking about 2040!”
Team Obama Regulates Goat Herders’ Workplaces
Post Date: 2012-07-09 16:28:15 by calcon
6 Comments
The Obama administration is setting new workplace regulations to assist foreign workers who fill goat herding positions in the U.S. , including employee-paid cell phones and comfy beds. These new special procedures issued by the Labor Department must be followed by employers who want to hire temporary agricultural foreign workers to perform sheep herding or goat herding activities. It describes strict rules for sleeping quarters, lighting, food storage, bathing, laundry, cooking and new rules for the counters where food is prepared. “A separate sleeping unit shall be provided for each person, except in a family arrangement,” says the rules signed by Jane Oates, assistant ...
Dads: If You Don’t Want Your Daughter to Date (Idiots like) Charlie Sheen, Lil Wayne, Beavis or Butthead
Post Date: 2012-07-07 10:24:16 by CZ82
0 Comments
Dads: If You Don’t Want Your Daughter to Date Charlie Sheen, Lil Wayne, Beavis or Butthead Doug Giles, Jul 01, 2012 Here are my 10 Commandments for my daughter’s potential boyfriends. Please facebook, email and tweet this list and my accompanying new video to dads who do not want their daughters to ever date or marry Lil Wayne, Charlie Sheen, Beavis or Butthead. Commandment I. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn't make me happy. And know this: I've got a PI doing a background check on you at this moment. Commandment II. Thou had better have a life. I have worked my butt off providing a good life for my daughter; therefore, you better have one, Spanky. ...
BACKFIRED: Louisiana GOP Angry That Muslims Can Use School Vouchers
Post Date: 2012-07-05 13:51:47 by Brian S
3 Comments
GOP legislators in Louisiana have realized to their horror that their bill to provide vouchers for private religious schools can actually be used by Muslims. Rep. Valarie Hodges, a Republican who represents East Baton Rouge and Livingston, now says she wishes she hadn’t voted for the Jindal voucher bill. “I actually support funding for teaching the fundamentals of America’s Founding Fathers’ religion, which is Christianity, in public schools or private schools,” Hodges told the Livingston Parish News. "I liked the idea of giving parents the option of sending their children to a public school or a Christian school,” Hodges added. The newspaper reported that ...
'Miss Holocaust Survivor' Crowned In Israel
Post Date: 2012-06-29 21:07:15 by Brian S
3 Comments
HAIFA, Israel (AP) — Grinning and waving, 14 women who survived the horrors of World War II paraded Thursday in an unusual pageant, vying for the honor of being crowned Israel's first "Miss Holocaust Survivor." Billed by organizers as a celebration of life, the event also stirred controversy. In a country where millions have been touched by the Holocaust, many argued that judging aging women who had suffered so much on physical appearance was inappropriate, and even offensive."It sounds totally macabre to me," said Colette Avital, chairwoman of Israel's leading Holocaust survivors' umbrella group. "I am in favor of enriching lives, but a one-time ...
Justice Department Won’t Prosecute Attorney General Holder For Contempt Of Congress
Post Date: 2012-06-29 16:14:00 by Brian S
0 Comments
By Associated Press, Updated: Friday, June 29, 3:35 PM WASHINGTON — The Justice Department has declared that Attorney General Eric Holder’s decision to withhold information about a bungled gun-tracking operation from Congress does not constitute a crime and he won’t be prosecuted for contempt of Congress. In a letter to House Speaker John Boehner, the department says that it will not bring the congressional contempt citation against Holder to a federal grand jury and that it will take no other action to prosecute the attorney general. Deputy Attorney General James Cole says the decision is in line with long-standing Justice Department practice across administrations of ...
Bachmann Rails Against ‘Activist’ Court After Health Care Ruling
Post Date: 2012-06-28 16:27:02 by Brian S
3 Comments
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) on Thursday accused Chief Justice John Roberts and the four other justices who upheld President Barack Obama’s health care reform law of being part of an “activist” Supreme Court. “It really is a turning point in American history,” Bachmann told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “We will never be the same again. … For my mind, this is clearly unconstitutional. There is no basis in the Constitution for the government to have this level of history-making expansion of power.” “I urge people to read the dissent that was read from the bench by Justice Kennedy and joined in by Justices Alito and also Scalia,” she continued. ...
Latest [Newer] 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 [Older]
|
