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Latest Articles: Humor
Stupid Democrats
Post Date: 2012-09-05 14:04:46 by calcon
2 Comments
Only the simple minded democrats would schedule their best speaker Clinton'S convention address to compete against the NFL opener. What real american would be watching some stupid political convention when the Giants and Cowboys go head to head. Go COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13 Campaign Ads Romney and Obama WISH They Could Run
Post Date: 2012-09-05 12:28:39 by Capitalist Eric
1 Comments
Gold Is A Barbeque Relish
Post Date: 2012-08-31 14:53:35 by Capitalist Eric
0 Comments
My Doctor’s an idiot. A few years ago, he started expressing concerns about my weight, pointing at this chart supposedly showing how much a man of my height should weigh. One glance at his stupid chart and it was clear to me that he had completely misdiagnosed my condition. There was nothing wrong with my weight, I just wasn’t tall enough. Clearly I needed to grow my way out of this. So I went home and googled “how to stimulate growth.” Once I got past the all the baldness cures and penis pumps (it’s not my bag, baby), I found hundreds of papers so incredibly boring I knew they had to be true. In no time, I was able to design and implement my own stimulus plan based ...
"Legitimate Rape" Pharmaceutical Ad [Satire]
Post Date: 2012-08-30 22:13:48 by Capitalist Eric
0 Comments
Poster Comment:The GOP nincompoops really stepped into it, with the "legitimate rape" statements... Make 'em look like loons.
President Obama To Receive Honorary Green Beret, Induction Into Special Forces Association (SATIRE)
Post Date: 2012-08-30 21:12:39 by Hondo68
0 Comments
President Obama In The White House Just Moments Before He Personally Shot Bin Laden In The Head In Pakistan Fort Bragg, NC – The White House Press Office announced today that President Obama will soon be inducted into the Special Forces Association and receive an honorary Green Beret. Officials have said the honor will be bestowed in an upcoming September 11th ceremony at Fort Bragg. The honorary beret comes in recognition of the President’s decisive role in covert operations throughout the world during his term — including the killing of Osama bin Laden last year in Pakistan, and his combat action in Afghanistan months ago. Army Public Affairs has confirmed that Lieutenant ...
Admit It, I Scare The Ever-Loving Shit Out Of You, Don't I?
Post Date: 2012-08-14 09:59:45 by calcon
24 Comments
When Mitt Romney selected me as his running mate, I knew the Democratic attack dogs would come out in full force. They would say I’m a right-wing ideologue. They would say my views on entitlement programs are far too radical. They would say putting me on the ticket immediately kills Mitt Romney’s chances of becoming president because I’m a liability. But if we’re being honest with each other—if we’re able to put aside the talking points for a few minutes and say what we’re all actually thinking and feeling—I believe we can acknowledge the real truth here. I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m smart, and I’m articulate. And that scares ...
Obama With A Condom On His Head
Post Date: 2012-08-11 20:06:22 by A K A Stone
2 Comments
Romney To Obama: Let’s Agree Not To Discuss My Business Record
Post Date: 2012-08-10 17:30:52 by Brian S
1 Comments
Mitt Romney — who has placed his business record at the centerpiece of his presidential campaign — is now asking President Obama to stop discussing his tenure with Bain Capital. During an interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd, the former Massachusetts governor asked Obama to avoid discussing “business or family or taxes or things of that nature”: “[O]ur campaign would be — helped immensely if we had an agreement between both campaigns that we were only going to talk about issues and that attacks based upon — business or family or taxes or things of that nature.” [...] “[W]e only talk about issues. And we can talk about the differences between ...
Moveon Ad: Mitt Romney The Pickpocket President Of The 1%
Post Date: 2012-08-10 15:05:42 by Brian S
1 Comments
MoveOn has a new ad out today entitled Pickpocket. To whom might they be referring? R-Money, of course. “Mitt Romney’s plan will take money out of your pocket, to pay for tax plans for billionaires,” says a narrator. “He’s not running for president of the United States, he’s running for president of the one percent.” “Mitt Romney’s creepy hand wants your $2k to pay for tax breaks for his millionaire and billionaire friends. Tell Mitt Romney: Get your hand out of my pocket!” This might be a good time to debunk some other nonsense about Romney being a venture capitalist, when in fact, as Bloomberg explains, he was (or is? retroactive, ...
Dem Super PAC’s Ad Features ‘Allen West’ Punching Elderly White Woman
Post Date: 2012-08-10 14:28:20 by Brian S
5 Comments
Opponents are calling a Democratic super PAC in Florida shocking and even racist for its cartoonish depiction of Rep. Allen West (R-FL) punching an elderly white woman and laughing as he steals money from a black family. The bizarre production comes by way of the American Sunrise super PAC, financed primarily by the father of West’s Democratic opponent, Patrick Murphy (not to be confused with the former Pennsylvania Rep. of the same name). The Democrat’s father is Tom Murphy, Jr., CEO of Miami’s Coastal Construction. Federal Election Commission records indicate he’s supported Democrats and Republicans alike, but threw most of his financial heft behind President ...
'Romney Murdered JonBenét Ramsey,' New Obama Campaign Ad Alleges
Post Date: 2012-08-09 18:25:22 by calcon
1 Comments
CHICAGO—With campaign rhetoric becoming increasingly heated and both presidential nominees releasing more attack ads, a new 30-second spot from the Obama campaign this week accuses his opponent Mitt Romney of committing the 1996 murder of 6-year-old beauty pageant queen JonBenét Ramsey. Titled “He Did It,” the advertisement asks if anyone can truly remember where Romney was the night of the child’s murder, and whether the U.S. populace wants a president capable of strangling a little girl and dumping her body in her parents’ basement. President Obama appears at the end of the advertisement to approve the message. “I think this is a fair ad, and I ...
Disappointment After Executed Texas Man With IQ Of 61 Is Not George W Bush
Post Date: 2012-08-09 12:42:59 by Brian S
3 Comments
After a man with an IQ of 61 was executed by lethal injection, initial hopes have been dashed after it was revealed that it wasn’t former US President George W Bush. News that a mentally impaired Texas man was facing the death penalty for murder had raised expectations that the former Governor of Texas could finally be facing justice, but celebrations were tempered when it was revealed that it was a 54 year-old man called Marvin Wilson. “When I heard that the defendants language and maths skills had never progressed beyond an elementary school level, I began to get excited,” revealed one disappointed justice enthusiast. “When it was revealed that he was unable to ...
Fake KFC Ad with John Goodman [Full Thread]
Post Date: 2012-08-04 17:47:21 by Hondo68
111 Comments
A hilarious new video from ‘Funny or Die’ show how KFC could have reacted to Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay-marriage stance.
Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay marriage stance may have sparked a nationwide controversy, but a hilarious new video suggests one of the chain’s competitors is using the opportunity to win the chicken war.
In a new spoof for FunnyorDie.com, John Goodman is decked out as Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and mascot Colonel Sanders and declares he “loves the gays.”
“It don’t take a bonified Einstein genius to know that I’m an old-fashioned sort,” he bellows from a Southern-styled living room.
READ MORE: ON 'CHICK-FIL-A APPRECIATION DAY,' SUPPORTERS CROWD THE CHAIN'S LOCATIONS ...
Perfect House for Ferret Mike
Post Date: 2012-08-04 17:37:19 by A K A Stone
3 Comments
Kiss Mor Chiks: Gay Rights Activists Protest Chick-Fil-A With ‘Kiss In’
Post Date: 2012-08-03 10:52:00 by Brian S
8 Comments
Chick-fil-A remains at the center of a culture war with marriage equality supporters planning to converge onto the fast-food restaurants Friday and kiss fellow demonstrators. The event comes two days after supporters of the chain’s president Dan Cathy’s stance on gay marriage attracted thousands, many of them conservative Christians, to restaurants, resulting in record-setting sales. Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee issued the call to action at the company’s more than 1,600 locations. In a statement, Chick-fil-A executive vice president of marketing Steve Robinson said: We are very grateful and humbled by the incredible turnout of loyal Chick-fil-A ...
Harry Reid: Bain Investor Told Me That Mitt Romney 'Didn't Pay Any Taxes For 10 Years'
Post Date: 2012-07-31 23:06:27 by Brian S
6 Comments
WASHINGTON -- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has what he says is an informed explanation for why Mitt Romney refuses to release additional tax returns. According a Bain investor, Reid charged, Romney didn't pay any taxes for 10 years. In a wide-ranging interview with The Huffington Post from his office on Capitol Hill, Reid saved some of his toughest words for the presumptive Republican presidential nominee. Romney couldn't make it through a Senate confirmation process as a mere Cabinet nominee, the majority leader insisted, owing to the opaqueness of his personal finances. "His poor father must be so embarrassed about his son," Reid said, in reference to ...
Rommageddon
Post Date: 2012-07-31 16:13:49 by Brian S
1 Comments
By Kathy Malloy "In his speech, Romney sounded almost Biblical when he said that he recognized the 'power' of 'a few other things' besides just culture in Israel's accomplishments, adding that he also saw the 'hand of providence in selecting this place.":::::::: Are all Republican politicians ignorant, or is it only the sons of more successful GOP-politicos who fail miserably when it comes to discussing the issues? Dubya the Decider was a dialogue disaster, both in his domestic speeches and foreign policy statements. But he may have met his malapropism match in Mittens. Elder Romney successfully pissed off most of the British Isles with his vocal, ...
Researchers Trace Obama’s Family Back To First U.S. Slave
Post Date: 2012-07-31 11:57:37 by Brian S
2 Comments
Researchers at Ancestry.com say President Barack Obama is the 11th great-grandson of the first African man to be declared a slave in America, according to CBS News. The findings were released Monday after researchers spent two years tracing the family tree of Obama’s late mother, Ann Dunham, who was born Stanley Ann Dunham in Kansas in 1942. Dunham’s roots can be traced to a family, the Bunches, descended from a Virginia slave named John Punch. Dunham died in 1995. Obama’s father, Barack Hussein Obama, was born in Kenya. In 1640, Punch, who had escaped to Virginia from Maryland, was caught and sentenced to a lifetime of servitude. Researchers say the discrepancy in names is ...
The Bank Robbery
Post Date: 2012-07-30 18:36:05 by sneakypete
4 Comments
A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The Robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?” There are a few moments of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, ...
Slow Growth Leaves Room for Obama to Win Re-Election
Post Date: 2012-07-27 11:40:26 by Brian S
1 Comments
The slow growth reported for the second quarter is enough to allow President Barack Obama an edge in his re-election bid, according to a forecasting model based on the economy and polling data. The U.S. economy grew at a 1.5 percent annual rate from April through June, in line with forecasts and slowing from a revised 2.0 percent rate during the first three months of the year, the Commerce Department reported today. “It puts Obama just barely above the break-even point,” said Alan Abramowitz, a political science professor at Emory University in Atlanta and developer of the forecasting model. “Mainly it tells me we’re heading to a very close election and Obama is a ...
"Mitt The Twit": Uk Morning Papers Blast Romney Visit
Post Date: 2012-07-27 11:37:09 by Brian S
1 Comments
The DNC has a video summarizing the US and British coverage, then screen caps of 23 newspaper headlines in the UK:And here's video of the mayor of London dissing Romney:
Officials work to identify 'goat man' seen trailing herd in Utah mountains
Post Date: 2012-07-23 20:31:55 by calcon
5 Comments
Utah authorities are working to identify a man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah. The photographer who snapped blurry photos of the individual, dubbed "goat man," told Fox affiliate KSTU-TV that he spotted the man Sunday as he was descending Ben Lomond peak, about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City. "He was clumsy, working his way down the cliff trying to catch up with the rest of the herd," photographer Coty Creighton told the station. "With the binoculars, I could clearly see it was a guy dressed up in a homemade goat suit." Creighton said the man appeared to be wearing heavy gloves so he could crawl ...
George W. Bush Will Not Attend Republican National Convention
Post Date: 2012-07-21 12:06:20 by Brian S
5 Comments
According to Politico, former president George W. Bush will not be attending the Republican National Convention in Tampa next month. “President Bush was grateful for the invitation to the Republican National Convention,” Bush spokesman Freddy Ford wrote to the website. “He supports Governor Romney and wants him to succeed. President Bush is confident that Mitt Romney will be a great President. But he’s still enjoying his time off the political stage and respectfully declined the invitation to go to Tampa.” Politico notes that Bush’s decision saves the Romney campaign from “having to face the delicate question” of whether to invite the unpopular ...
THE REAL EXPERTS ON OBAMA/ROMNEY CARE SPEAK OUT
Post Date: 2012-07-20 14:50:13 by rowdee
0 Comments
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be ...
Go Stand in the Corner, Yuktard
Post Date: 2012-07-19 19:35:21 by calcon
5 Comments
#36. To: yukon - TIMEOUT -- 2 weeks (#31) I am trying to read this article, and I've found that your insistance on bashing someone after being politely and repeatedly asked to stop, is destructive to the thread. You cannot ALWAYS be right. You cannot ALWAYS attack someone who has not attacked you on a thread. On THIS thread you have become disruptive. And NO ONE was bothering you at all. Thus, you now have a 2 week timeout. Please take the time to review your actions, and your agression. It seems to have spiked and gotten out of control recently. I don't want to make your timeout permanent, but if you return and conduct yourself in the same agressive manner, I will consider ...
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