[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Officer in nurse arrest was reprimanded for sex harassment

Is anybody wathching Trump on TV?

Hillary Clinton: Women Only Voted For Trump Because Their Husbands Told Them To

Entire Volume of CIA Files On Lee Harvey Oswald, Set to Be Released in October, Has ‘Gone Missing’

Cops Execute Student for Holding a “Tiny” Multi-tool

7 Best Video Sites, YouTube Alternatives

Hobby Lobby’s ‘offensive’ decoration

America's Broken System: Left & Right Authoritarianism

Workmen Allegedly Find Bone Fragments of Saint Peter Inside Medieval Altar in Rome

"Shut down ICE!": Amnesty activists shout down Pelosi over DREAM deal with Trump

Hillary Clinton still wants to challenge election results

An Unworthy Pope

Hollywood is finished - TV ... in the sense they influence - steer the public --- for the exception of the uninformed zombie radical left communists Antifa types.

Video shows purse snatching from elderly woman in scooter at Burbank Ralphs

Profs: Boys are better at physics because they play ‘pee games’

NO AMNESTY IS A GOOD AMNESTY(Ann Coulter)

Trump Let a Kid Mow the White House Lawn. Idiot Asks: What About Child Labor Laws?

Kim Jong Un - Rocketman

Catholic Internet poster -God raised a lizard and a mouse from the dead because I said please. Claims God healed his broken neck and spine. Also says Christ does not treat Christians' diabetes or cancer. He let's them bear that cross, die

Biblical prophecy claims the world will end on Sept. 23, Christian numerologists claim

Should You Tell the Cops You Have a Gun?

WHY "FAITH ALONE" SALVATION IS WRONG! (From a Protestant)

83-Year-Old Grandpa Saves the Day By Pushing Suspect Off Roof

Liberals sick of the alt-left are taking 'the red pill'

My Father Died This Morning

Another Reason for the Electric Car Push?

The 28 States Where a Little Pot Can Still Send You to Jail

When cops commit armed robbery

How Bullwinkle Taught Kids Sophisticated Political Satire

Seeing Is Not Believing: Steel and Concrete Became Mid-Air Dust on 9/11

Rosie O’Donnell’s ex Michelle Rounds dead in apparent suicide

Praying repetitive words using Rosary beads is forbidden

Trump Extends Post-9/11 State of Emergency

The commie push leaves standing what it will

15 September 2017 Charles Spurgeon Devotion

Shapiro to Antifa: America is laughing at your inferior intellect, you know

Sweden Releases Sex Guide for Migrants Explaining Why Rape Is Wrong

Mayor: Investigation found arrest of nurse broke policies

Police culture questioned after phone recordings come to light

Tucker Carlson on DACA and Shamnesty

Trump Backpedals on Amnesty Deal After Massive Blowback from Base

Rand Worries Trump Has Caught ‘Potomac Fever’ in Pursuit of DACA Deal

A "Read-My-Lips" Moment for Trump?

"WHO AM I TO JUDGE A GAY PERSON?" says Pope Francis

Old Think

Janet Reno, American Saint

Curse of the Woke Conservatives

isn't time we put a stop to this?

NFL TV Ratings Slump Again

Report: Trump Caves on DACA, Wants ‘Quick’ Amnesty for 800K Illegal Aliens


Status: Not Logged In; Sign In

Weird Stuff/Unexplained
See other Weird Stuff/Unexplained Articles

Title: Local Mom Claims Vaccines Caused Her Son’s Calvinism
Source: The Babylon Bee
URL Source: http://babylonbee.com/news/local-mo ... accines-caused-sons-calvinism/
Published: Jul 14, 2017
Author: Bee staff
Post Date: 2017-07-14 16:43:18 by redleghunter
Keywords: None
Views: 121
Comments: 2

Local Mom Claims Vaccines Caused Her Son’s Calvinism

BOZEMAN, MT—Local mother Carrie Darling has been living with her 11-year-old son Ashton’s Calvinism for years now, and ever since his diagnosis she has never veered from her firm belief that his adoption of the theological framework was directly caused by the vaccines he received as a small child.

“He wasn’t like this until he got those vaccines—after that, things started changing, and he quickly developed a deep conviction of God’s sovereignty over the process of salvation,” Darling told reporters Wednesday.

“Out of nowhere he started disappearing into his room for hours at a time, poring over old books by dead white guys that he would secretly order on Amazon. It began harmlessly enough, with some Edwards, a little Bunyan, some sporadic bouts of Spurgeon—but we really grew worried when he started debating other first-graders on the doctrine of the two divine wills.”

A trip to a local Wesleyan pastor who moonlights as a holistic doctor confirmed the Darling’s worst fears: little Ashton was indeed Calvinistic, complete with a desire to give God all the glory for His saving grace.

“Think twice before you get your child vaccinated, especially if you come from an Arminian tradition,” the emotional mother said.

Click for Full Text!

Post Comment   Private Reply   Ignore Thread  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

#1. To: redleghunter (#0)

A brave mother, suffering through her son's chronic Calvinism.

At least we know that it isn't contagious.

As for the tyke's inclinations to debate, well, there is no point in debating anything if you're a thorough Calvinist.

Tooconservative  posted on  2017-07-14   16:51:56 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


#2. To: Tooconservative (#1)

At least we know that it isn't contagious.

LOL.

Much better articles at that site. A Christian "Onion" if you will. My buddy over at CF.com posited one which everyone there still thinks is real, but has generated some of the best comments in weeks. LOL.

He had me for a few posts it was so believable then I actually clicked on the link.

redleghunter  posted on  2017-07-14   16:54:19 ET  Reply   Trace   Private Reply  


TopPage UpFull ThreadPage DownBottom/Latest

[Home]  [Headlines]  [Latest Articles]  [Latest Comments]  [Post]  [Mail]  [Sign-in]  [Setup]  [Help]  [Register] 

Please report web page problems, questions and comments to webmaster@libertysflame.com