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Title: Gingrich Paid for Anal Bleachings with Government Funds
Source:
theskunk.org
URL Source: http://theskunk.org/2011/04/gingric ... achings-with-government-funds/
Published: Dec 8, 2011
Author: staff
Post Date: 2011-12-08 23:27:09 by Ferret Mike
Keywords: None
Views: 11498
Comments: 29
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — According to a statement from the Justice Department, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich paid for multiple anal bleachings during his tenure in Congress using money from his office’s general fund.
The DOJ report claims that from 1993-1999 the presidential hopeful spent over $150,000 to lighten the tint of his rectal opening.
Members of Congress are allotted an average of $1.4 million annually to run their offices.
Although it has been well-known that Gingrich was obsessed with the color of his anus, Washington insiders expressed shock to learn that thousands of dollars in over-the-counter anal bleaching products were being charged to his congressional expense account — in addition to the services of a highly regarded Washington plastic surgeon.
According to Dr. Emile L’Dros, Gingrich joked about having the procedure done to “eliminate any and all traces of my African root.”
“He was anal in his quest for perfection,” quipped L’Dros. “He wasn’t satisfied until the walls of his anus blended seamlessly with the cleavage of his milky white buttocks.”
After the initial session, Gingrich returned to L’Dros almost weekly for “touch-ups.”
“He’d show up to work following his doctor’s appointments,” remembered one staffer, “pull his trousers down, spread his cheeks and say, ‘Does it match, now?’”
Attorney General Eric Holder said the charges against Gingrich are very serious. “It doesn’t matter whether he used that money for a cheeseburger or to whiten his ebony-stained rectal cavity, the fact remains that he embezzled thousands of taxpayer dollars for his personal use, and he will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”
If convicted, Gingrich could serve 10-20 years in a federal prison, where, added Holder, “that pearly white manhole will have a lot of admirers.”
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Begin Trace Mode for Comment # 20.
#1. To: Ferret Mike (#0)
Well, according to PC, the only a$$holes are white. I guess the rest are just sphincters.
I guess really, when you get down to it, all assholes are equal, but some have better skin beaching, peels and cheek lifts than others.
Is that what Obama said to Reggie Love?
Don't be a twit. President Obama is heterosexual, and personally, I couldn't care less if he were that or homosexual. I don't know this fictional story about a fictional relationship, and more importantly, I don't care. There is nothing wrong with someone if they have a different sexual preference then you. My point to Q-pee is he's a jerk. Sorry of this goes over your head.
I don't know this fictional story about a fictional relationship, and more importantly, I don't care. There is nothing wrong with someone if they have a different sexual preference then you. My point to Q-pee is he's a jerk. Sorry of this goes over your head. It's that obsession with voyeurism that seems to be the common thread among the Tea Partiers.
It's that obsession with voyeurism that seems to be the common thread among the Tea Partiers. Weasel posted this gay racist thread, but he's more of a teabagger than a tea partier. Posting an article like this is enough to make ya wonder.
#21. To: hondo68 (#20)
But it's still quite mild compared to some of those that HQ posts.
Nothing like demonstrating his own proclivities, eh? Unreal.
Hey, if I keep you wondering, that's half the battle won.
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#2. To: Wood_Chopper (#1)
"Although it has been well-known that Gingrich was obsessed with the color of his anus, Washington insiders expressed shock to learn that thousands of dollars in over-the-counter anal bleaching products were being charged to his congressional expense account — in addition to the services of a highly regarded Washington plastic surgeon."
#10. To: Ferret Mike (#2)
I guess really, when you get down to it, all assholes are equal,
#11. To: A K A Stone (#10)
#16. To: Ferret Mike (#11)
Don't be a twit. President Obama is heterosexual, and personally, I couldn't care less if he were that or homosexual.
#20. To: mininggold, Ferret Mike, A K A Stone, calcon, Happy Quanzaa, *Liberal Rehab Staff* (#16)
Gay KKK website/Ferret>> eliminate any and all traces of my African root
Replies to Comment # 20. Weasel posted this gay racist thread, but he's more of a teabagger than a tea partier. Posting an article like this is enough to make ya wonder.
#23. To: hondo68 (#20)
Weasel posted this gay racist thread,
#25. To: hondo68 (#20)
End Trace Mode for Comment # 20.
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