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Latest Articles: Humor
Herman Cain: I’d Tap Gay Cabinet Members Because They Wouldn’t Impose Sharia Law
Post Date: 2011-06-07 20:20:24 by Brian S
1 Comments
Republican 2012 presidential candidate Herman Cain, who was recently criticized for saying he wouldn’t permit Muslims in his cabinet, says he wouldn’t have a problem with openly gay appointees. “Nope, not at all. I wouldn’t have a problem with that at all,” Cain told ThinkProgress at an event in Iowa. “I want them qualified, I want them to basically believe in the Constitution of the United States of America. So, yup, I don’t have a problem with appointing an openly gay person.” “Because they are not going to try to put Sharia law in our laws,” he said, with a giggle. Cain, the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, has never held elected ...
The green killer: Scores of protected golden eagles dying after colliding with wind turbines
Post Date: 2011-06-07 08:30:19 by Sebastian
4 Comments
California's attempts to switch to green energy have inadvertently put the survival of the state’s golden eagles at risk. Scores of the protected birds have been dying each year after colliding with the blades of about 5,000 wind turbines. Now the drive for renewable power sources, such as wind and the sun, being promoted by President Obama and state Governor Jerry Brown has raised fears that the number of newborn golden eagles may not be able to keep pace with the number of turbine fatalities. The death count along the ridgelines of the Bay Area’s Altamount Pass Wind Resource Area has averaged 67 a year for three decades. The 200ft high turbines, which have been operating ...
Weiner for President! Well at least Gingrich is over his scandelous behaviour and is running.
Post Date: 2011-06-06 23:29:06 by buckeroo
4 Comments
As a Congressional representative, Weiner is through in Congress for his personal conduct. And for more ways than one. Now, lets concentrate on "Newt." Yeah the guy fucked upped and resigned as the Speaker of the House over his own personal conduct. And today, Newt Gingrich is running for President!
Newsbusted: Egyptian Nazis, Al Gore's Volcano-Sized Carbon Footprint, & More
Post Date: 2011-06-06 17:32:21 by Happy Quanzaa
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Putin: Obama “Idiot” For Adopting Socialism
Post Date: 2011-06-04 11:08:30 by no gnu taxes
7 Comments
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has warned the Obama administration against adopting further socialism, saying Russian history clearly proves it is a recipe for failure. “Any fourth grade history student knows socialism has failed in every country, at every time in history,” said Putin. “President Obama and his fellow Democrats are either idiots or deliberately trying to destroy their own economy.” Economists say Putin’s comments serve to illustrate how worldwide markets have made even economic adversaries dependent on each other’s financial stability. An Obama spokesman dismissed Putin’s claim, saying, “We’re going to do socialism ...
Herman Cain Joins the Ranks of the Constitutionally Confused
Post Date: 2011-05-31 12:30:45 by Brian S
10 Comments
It is a timeless maxim repeated to every author: Write about what you know. For presidential candidates, the maxim should be adjusted to read: Talk about what you know. On May 21, during the official announcement of his candidacy for President of the United States, Herman Cain confused the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. During a rousing speech chastising “those that are not going to read” the Constitution, the GOP hopeful made another revelatory gaffe. This misstatement must have been particularly embarrassing given the timing. First, it occurred during the first of many speeches he’ll give as a candidate for President. Second, it was part of a longer ...
Photo: Is a Prostitute With Bad Hair Soliciting Outside Buckingham Palace?
Post Date: 2011-05-31 10:09:32 by no gnu taxes
26 Comments
The three shortest books in the world
Post Date: 2011-05-29 08:58:50 by CZ82
0 Comments
The three shortest books in the world How to Win Friends and Influence People by Rahm Emanuel Humility and Its Virtues by Barack Obama What the Constitution Means to Me by Nancy Pelosi.
Top 13
Post Date: 2011-05-28 23:41:59 by CZ82
25 Comments
Top 12 When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"... 1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. 2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. 3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. 4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. ...
Suggested 2012 Obama Campaign Slogans
Post Date: 2011-05-26 11:15:23 by no gnu taxes
4 Comments
“Suckage On This Grand A Scale Takes Two Terms.” “Bringing Up The Birther Thing Whenever Possible.” “I promise you I’ll learn about it by the time I leave here on the ride back to the airport.” POTUS “does not have power [to] authorize a military attack [where no] actual or imminent threat to the nation [exists].” “Not Jumping To Conclusions Unless Israel Is Involved.” “Operation Odyssey Dawn. ‘Nuf Said.” “I Quit Smoking For You Bitter Clingers. Show Some Gratitude.” “Putting Me First.” “Increasing the National Debt a Trillion At a Time.” Related slogan: “$60 Billion in Spending ...
Two Nuns
Post Date: 2011-05-24 21:30:41 by CZ82
1 Comments
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart. "Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush, and then ...
Breaking News: GOP Will Run Nobody for President in 2012
Post Date: 2011-05-23 19:45:12 by Skip Intro
4 Comments
WASHINGTON, D.C. In an unprecedented move, The RNC announced today that the Republican Party has decided to cancel its primaries and run nobody for president in 2012. Speaking to reporters, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus explained the decision: "We think that running nobody will rally Republicans of all stripes and garner more votes than any of the other potential candidates." He may be right. A recent nationwide poll of likely Republican voters revealed that, given a choice between all the other contenders and a blank space, 88% would vote for the blank space. Priebus continued: "We strongly believe that the only candidate that has a chance of beating President Obama ...
Politically Incorrect
Post Date: 2011-05-20 22:04:02 by CZ82
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Politically Incorrect At the Senior Citizens Center they had a quiz the other day. I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer was Africa . One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Negroes and Mexicans is not the correct answer either. I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a mustache." Just ...
Will Rogers
Post Date: 2011-05-19 18:34:14 by CZ82
15 Comments
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known. Enjoy the following: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always drink upstream from the herd. 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket. 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence, and find out for themselves. ...
BREAKING: Jerome Corsi's Birther Book Pulled from Shelves!
Post Date: 2011-05-18 21:01:03 by go65
12 Comments
In a stunning development one day after the release of Where's the Birth Certificate? The Case that Barack Obama is not Eligible to be President, by Dr. Jerome Corsi, World Net Daily Editor and Chief Executive Officer Joseph Farah has announced plans to recall and pulp the entire 200,000 first printing run of the book, as well as announcing an offer to refund the purchase price to anyone who has already bought either a hard copy or electronic download of the book. In an exclusive interview, a reflective Farah, who wrote the book's foreword and also published Corsi's earlier best-selling work, Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak out Against John Kerry and Capricorn One: ...
More Obama Zombies
Post Date: 2011-05-16 19:04:48 by CZ82
2 Comments
Are you a Sheeple? Take the Sheeple Quiz and find out
Post Date: 2011-05-16 18:19:16 by Capitalist Eric
1 Comments
(NaturalNews) Have you herd about the Sheeple Quiz? Although most NaturalNews readers will easily beat it, it's a fun quiz to find out how smart (or gullible) your friends really are. So let 'em take the Sheeple Quiz! And then you'll know whether they're independent thinkers or just zombie-minded sheeple like the rest of the flock. Here's the quiz. Choose "A" or "B" as the answer for each question, then check your score below. The Sheeple Quiz#1) The purpose of the mainstream media is to: A) Keep you informed.B) Feed you misinformation while keeping you distracted from the real issues our world is facing. #2) Social Security is: A) A financial ...
Obama regrets burying Osama at sea
Post Date: 2011-05-15 17:11:42 by CZ82
24 Comments
Pornography found in bin Laden hideout
Post Date: 2011-05-14 02:47:12 by CZ82
0 Comments
Pornography found in bin Laden hideout By Mark Hosenball and Tabassum Zakaria Fri, 13 May, 2011 ....WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday. The pornography recovered in bin Laden's compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity. The officials said they were not yet sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered or who had been viewing it. Specifically, the officials said ...
How Bin Laden was actually buried
Post Date: 2011-05-10 19:14:04 by CZ82
2 Comments
Bin Laden Given Religious Funeral Prior to Sea Burial. Published May 02, 2011 Osama bin Laden was given a religious funeral prior to his burial at sea, senior military officials told Fox News. Religious rites were conducted on the deck of the USS Carl Vinson aircraft carrier at about 1:10 a.m. Monday in the Persian Gulf. In accordance with Islamic practice, bin Laden's body was washed and wrapped in a white sheet before buried at sea at 2 a.m. local time, senior U.S. military and intelligence officials said. Then, "In accordance with common US Navy SEAL practice, the Team pissed on him, stuck a pulled pork sandwich in his mouth, stuffed a kosher hot dog up his ass, and pushed ...
Weekend at Bennie's~This summer's greatest hit!
Post Date: 2011-05-10 17:34:07 by Happy Quanzaa
0 Comments
Weekend at Bennie's Chedoh 5/3/2011, 10:15 pm Thanks to Comrade Goose for the most equal contibution. This summer's greatest hit! This summer a new film that will portray a more light-hearted story of the progressive's greatest guilt inducing mascot will be in theaters for only a small vodka ration per viewer. It is a tale of love, war, and tragedy that the whole genetically related unit of all ages can enjoy! Filmed in beautiful Pakistan an the Arabian Sea, this film will speak to millions about the negative impact on Arabic culture by the industrial elites in the United States. While a group of Navy SEALS undergo their home invasion, they see crying relatives of their ...
Obama's Next Vacation
Post Date: 2011-05-10 06:59:03 by CZ82
0 Comments
Obama's Next Vacation Bruce Thompson Given the hectic pace of recent events, it is clear that President Obama and his family will soon need a vacation. So it's time to find an appropriate vacation spot for them to visit. The perfect spot would be SEAL Beach California! Why would it be so perfect, let us count the ways! For President Obama: 1) It's SEAL BEACH, as in Sea, Air, Land Beach! 2) It is an easy commute to his Hollywood donors, but it is still right on the beach! He can frolic in the surf and show off his ripped body in a swimsuit. He can ever surf at Ray Bay! 3) It is adjacent to the Joint Forces Training Base in Los Alamitos. This base has an airfield large ...
Obama Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny’s
Post Date: 2011-05-09 13:49:48 by no gnu taxes
0 Comments
Obamaisms
Post Date: 2011-05-08 08:02:23 by CZ82
11 Comments
Obamaisms: Dumb Quotes and Gaffes by Barack Obama "We're not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that's fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you've made enough money. But, you know, part of the American way is, you know, you can just keep on making it if you're providing a good product or providing good service. We don’t want people to stop, ah, fulfilling the core responsibilities of the financial system to help grow our economy." —on Wall Street reform, Quincy, Ill., April 29, 2010 "One such translator was an American of Haitian descent, representative of the extraordinary work that our men and women in ...
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