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Latest Articles: Humor
Bill Kristol: Romney Remarks ‘Arrogant And Stupid’
Post Date: 2012-09-18 14:10:29 by Brian S
1 Comments
Conservative columnist Bill Kristol lit into Mitt Romney in the Weekly Standard over his leaked remarks that 47 percent of Americans are hopelessly dependent on government and thus will vote for President Obama. "It remains important for the country that Romney wins in November (unless he chooses to step down and we get the Ryan-Rubio ticket we deserve!)," Kristol wrote on Tuesday. "But that shouldn't blind us to the fact that Romney's comments, like those of Obama four years ago, are arrogant and stupid. Noting that many of the 47 percent of Americans who don't pay income tax are core Republican groups like seniors and active military, Kristol added that ...
President Jimmy Carter’s Grandson Leaked Romney Video
Post Date: 2012-09-18 11:31:10 by Brian S
1 Comments
The damning video of Mitt Romney telling a room of wealthy donors how he really feels about the freeloading 47 percent of Americans "who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it," among other candid things, has been floating around online in bits and pieces for three months, but didn't hit the big time until it was published by David Corn at Mother Jones today. Credited as a "research assistant" on the story is James Carter IV, the grandson of former President Jimmy Carter, who has been toiling online as an opposition researcher and is "currently looking for work," according to his Twitter bio. "I've been ...
A SMILE TO START THE WEEKEND
Post Date: 2012-09-14 17:38:42 by rowdee
4 Comments
As a bagpiper, I’m often called upon to play at weddings, military events and funerals. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. The man had no family or friends, so the service was set at the county pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky backwoods. I was not familiar with the backwoods and soon found myself lost. Being a typical man I didn’t stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late – the staff from the funeral home was long gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to ...
Female Fox News Contributor Says Michelle Malkin ‘Needs To Get Laid’
Post Date: 2012-09-13 19:33:46 by Brian S
21 Comments
A liberal Fox News legal analyst may have gone too far on Thursday when she said that conservative columnist Michelle Malkin “needs to get laid.” During a Thursday Fox Business segment about Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney’s response to recent violence in Libya, host Don Imus asked Fox News contributor Tamara Holder how she felt about Malkin, who had been defending the GOP candidate. “I don’t know her personally, but I’m not a fan of her debating style,” Holder explained. “I think that she probably needs to get laid.” googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('div-gpt-ad-1331163101011-9'); });During a appearance on ...
Mitt Gets Hit: 'He Looks Like Richard Nixon'
Post Date: 2012-09-13 13:08:54 by Brian S
1 Comments
Mitt Romney continued to be hammered in the media on Wednesday night and Thursday morning over his response to the attacks in Egypt and Libya — though some conservatives began coming to his defense. Romney endured a day of terrible press after he criticized the Obama administration's response to protests in Cairo and Benghazi, as well as the killing of the American ambassador to Libya. Though the attack that killed Christopher Stevens may have been planned — and though seemingly everything about the supposed film that sparked the protests has now been called into question — both reliable conventional-wisdom-peddlers and even some right-wing analysts said that Romney had ...
Larry Flynt Offers $1M Reward For Mitt Romney Tax Returns...Hackers, On Your Mark!
Post Date: 2012-09-07 19:55:24 by Brian S
0 Comments
It’s no secret that Larry Flynt, the often-controversial founder and publisher of Hustler magazine, is not a fan of Mitt Romney. (Maybe that’s because the Republican nominee has said that he supports federal obscenity laws—which aren't exactly good Flynt’s business.) It’s also no secret that Romney opponents have been dying to get their hands on his unreleased tax returns, which, they claim, could prove that the candidate hasn't been paying his fair share of taxes. Now, Flynt is joining their cause by offering a $1 million reward for Romney's tax information. Flynt is taking out full-page ads in this Sunday’s edition of The Washington Post and ...
Actor Kevin Bacon Changing Last Name To Appease Muslims
Post Date: 2012-09-05 17:28:32 by CZ82
9 Comments
Actor Kevin Bacon Changing Last Name To Appease Muslims By Nick Taxia / 4 September 2012 by Ibrahim al-Lincoln, official DP Muslim Civil War Re-enactor August 28th, 2012, (NEW YORK) — “ ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy…What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet,” wrote Shakespeare in Romeo & Juliet. But apparently thy name is no longer so sweet for actor Kevin Bacon. Bowing to pressure from various Muslim groups such as CAIR (Center for American–Islamic Relations), the iconic actor and musician has publically vowed to change his last name. The reason: although many Muslims, like most Americans, watch films ...
Stupid Democrats
Post Date: 2012-09-05 14:04:46 by calcon
2 Comments
Only the simple minded democrats would schedule their best speaker Clinton'S convention address to compete against the NFL opener. What real american would be watching some stupid political convention when the Giants and Cowboys go head to head. Go COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13 Campaign Ads Romney and Obama WISH They Could Run
Post Date: 2012-09-05 12:28:39 by Capitalist Eric
1 Comments
Gold Is A Barbeque Relish
Post Date: 2012-08-31 14:53:35 by Capitalist Eric
0 Comments
My Doctor’s an idiot. A few years ago, he started expressing concerns about my weight, pointing at this chart supposedly showing how much a man of my height should weigh. One glance at his stupid chart and it was clear to me that he had completely misdiagnosed my condition. There was nothing wrong with my weight, I just wasn’t tall enough. Clearly I needed to grow my way out of this. So I went home and googled “how to stimulate growth.” Once I got past the all the baldness cures and penis pumps (it’s not my bag, baby), I found hundreds of papers so incredibly boring I knew they had to be true. In no time, I was able to design and implement my own stimulus plan based ...
"Legitimate Rape" Pharmaceutical Ad [Satire]
Post Date: 2012-08-30 22:13:48 by Capitalist Eric
0 Comments
Poster Comment:The GOP nincompoops really stepped into it, with the "legitimate rape" statements... Make 'em look like loons.
President Obama To Receive Honorary Green Beret, Induction Into Special Forces Association (SATIRE)
Post Date: 2012-08-30 21:12:39 by Hondo68
0 Comments
President Obama In The White House Just Moments Before He Personally Shot Bin Laden In The Head In Pakistan Fort Bragg, NC – The White House Press Office announced today that President Obama will soon be inducted into the Special Forces Association and receive an honorary Green Beret. Officials have said the honor will be bestowed in an upcoming September 11th ceremony at Fort Bragg. The honorary beret comes in recognition of the President’s decisive role in covert operations throughout the world during his term — including the killing of Osama bin Laden last year in Pakistan, and his combat action in Afghanistan months ago. Army Public Affairs has confirmed that Lieutenant ...
Admit It, I Scare The Ever-Loving Shit Out Of You, Don't I?
Post Date: 2012-08-14 09:59:45 by calcon
24 Comments
When Mitt Romney selected me as his running mate, I knew the Democratic attack dogs would come out in full force. They would say I’m a right-wing ideologue. They would say my views on entitlement programs are far too radical. They would say putting me on the ticket immediately kills Mitt Romney’s chances of becoming president because I’m a liability. But if we’re being honest with each other—if we’re able to put aside the talking points for a few minutes and say what we’re all actually thinking and feeling—I believe we can acknowledge the real truth here. I’m young, I’m handsome, I’m smart, and I’m articulate. And that scares ...
Obama With A Condom On His Head
Post Date: 2012-08-11 20:06:22 by A K A Stone
2 Comments
Romney To Obama: Let’s Agree Not To Discuss My Business Record
Post Date: 2012-08-10 17:30:52 by Brian S
1 Comments
Mitt Romney — who has placed his business record at the centerpiece of his presidential campaign — is now asking President Obama to stop discussing his tenure with Bain Capital. During an interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd, the former Massachusetts governor asked Obama to avoid discussing “business or family or taxes or things of that nature”: “[O]ur campaign would be — helped immensely if we had an agreement between both campaigns that we were only going to talk about issues and that attacks based upon — business or family or taxes or things of that nature.” [...] “[W]e only talk about issues. And we can talk about the differences between ...
Moveon Ad: Mitt Romney The Pickpocket President Of The 1%
Post Date: 2012-08-10 15:05:42 by Brian S
1 Comments
MoveOn has a new ad out today entitled Pickpocket. To whom might they be referring? R-Money, of course. “Mitt Romney’s plan will take money out of your pocket, to pay for tax plans for billionaires,” says a narrator. “He’s not running for president of the United States, he’s running for president of the one percent.” “Mitt Romney’s creepy hand wants your $2k to pay for tax breaks for his millionaire and billionaire friends. Tell Mitt Romney: Get your hand out of my pocket!” This might be a good time to debunk some other nonsense about Romney being a venture capitalist, when in fact, as Bloomberg explains, he was (or is? retroactive, ...
Dem Super PAC’s Ad Features ‘Allen West’ Punching Elderly White Woman
Post Date: 2012-08-10 14:28:20 by Brian S
5 Comments
Opponents are calling a Democratic super PAC in Florida shocking and even racist for its cartoonish depiction of Rep. Allen West (R-FL) punching an elderly white woman and laughing as he steals money from a black family. The bizarre production comes by way of the American Sunrise super PAC, financed primarily by the father of West’s Democratic opponent, Patrick Murphy (not to be confused with the former Pennsylvania Rep. of the same name). The Democrat’s father is Tom Murphy, Jr., CEO of Miami’s Coastal Construction. Federal Election Commission records indicate he’s supported Democrats and Republicans alike, but threw most of his financial heft behind President ...
'Romney Murdered JonBenét Ramsey,' New Obama Campaign Ad Alleges
Post Date: 2012-08-09 18:25:22 by calcon
1 Comments
CHICAGO—With campaign rhetoric becoming increasingly heated and both presidential nominees releasing more attack ads, a new 30-second spot from the Obama campaign this week accuses his opponent Mitt Romney of committing the 1996 murder of 6-year-old beauty pageant queen JonBenét Ramsey. Titled “He Did It,” the advertisement asks if anyone can truly remember where Romney was the night of the child’s murder, and whether the U.S. populace wants a president capable of strangling a little girl and dumping her body in her parents’ basement. President Obama appears at the end of the advertisement to approve the message. “I think this is a fair ad, and I ...
Disappointment After Executed Texas Man With IQ Of 61 Is Not George W Bush
Post Date: 2012-08-09 12:42:59 by Brian S
3 Comments
After a man with an IQ of 61 was executed by lethal injection, initial hopes have been dashed after it was revealed that it wasn’t former US President George W Bush. News that a mentally impaired Texas man was facing the death penalty for murder had raised expectations that the former Governor of Texas could finally be facing justice, but celebrations were tempered when it was revealed that it was a 54 year-old man called Marvin Wilson. “When I heard that the defendants language and maths skills had never progressed beyond an elementary school level, I began to get excited,” revealed one disappointed justice enthusiast. “When it was revealed that he was unable to ...
Fake KFC Ad with John Goodman [Full Thread]
Post Date: 2012-08-04 17:47:21 by Hondo68
111 Comments
A hilarious new video from ‘Funny or Die’ show how KFC could have reacted to Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay-marriage stance.
Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay marriage stance may have sparked a nationwide controversy, but a hilarious new video suggests one of the chain’s competitors is using the opportunity to win the chicken war.
In a new spoof for FunnyorDie.com, John Goodman is decked out as Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and mascot Colonel Sanders and declares he “loves the gays.”
“It don’t take a bonified Einstein genius to know that I’m an old-fashioned sort,” he bellows from a Southern-styled living room.
READ MORE: ON 'CHICK-FIL-A APPRECIATION DAY,' SUPPORTERS CROWD THE CHAIN'S LOCATIONS ...
Perfect House for Ferret Mike
Post Date: 2012-08-04 17:37:19 by A K A Stone
3 Comments
Kiss Mor Chiks: Gay Rights Activists Protest Chick-Fil-A With ‘Kiss In’
Post Date: 2012-08-03 10:52:00 by Brian S
8 Comments
Chick-fil-A remains at the center of a culture war with marriage equality supporters planning to converge onto the fast-food restaurants Friday and kiss fellow demonstrators. The event comes two days after supporters of the chain’s president Dan Cathy’s stance on gay marriage attracted thousands, many of them conservative Christians, to restaurants, resulting in record-setting sales. Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee issued the call to action at the company’s more than 1,600 locations. In a statement, Chick-fil-A executive vice president of marketing Steve Robinson said: We are very grateful and humbled by the incredible turnout of loyal Chick-fil-A ...
Harry Reid: Bain Investor Told Me That Mitt Romney 'Didn't Pay Any Taxes For 10 Years'
Post Date: 2012-07-31 23:06:27 by Brian S
6 Comments
WASHINGTON -- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has what he says is an informed explanation for why Mitt Romney refuses to release additional tax returns. According a Bain investor, Reid charged, Romney didn't pay any taxes for 10 years. In a wide-ranging interview with The Huffington Post from his office on Capitol Hill, Reid saved some of his toughest words for the presumptive Republican presidential nominee. Romney couldn't make it through a Senate confirmation process as a mere Cabinet nominee, the majority leader insisted, owing to the opaqueness of his personal finances. "His poor father must be so embarrassed about his son," Reid said, in reference to ...
Rommageddon
Post Date: 2012-07-31 16:13:49 by Brian S
1 Comments
By Kathy Malloy "In his speech, Romney sounded almost Biblical when he said that he recognized the 'power' of 'a few other things' besides just culture in Israel's accomplishments, adding that he also saw the 'hand of providence in selecting this place.":::::::: Are all Republican politicians ignorant, or is it only the sons of more successful GOP-politicos who fail miserably when it comes to discussing the issues? Dubya the Decider was a dialogue disaster, both in his domestic speeches and foreign policy statements. But he may have met his malapropism match in Mittens. Elder Romney successfully pissed off most of the British Isles with his vocal, ...
Researchers Trace Obama’s Family Back To First U.S. Slave
Post Date: 2012-07-31 11:57:37 by Brian S
2 Comments
Researchers at Ancestry.com say President Barack Obama is the 11th great-grandson of the first African man to be declared a slave in America, according to CBS News. The findings were released Monday after researchers spent two years tracing the family tree of Obama’s late mother, Ann Dunham, who was born Stanley Ann Dunham in Kansas in 1942. Dunham’s roots can be traced to a family, the Bunches, descended from a Virginia slave named John Punch. Dunham died in 1995. Obama’s father, Barack Hussein Obama, was born in Kenya. In 1640, Punch, who had escaped to Virginia from Maryland, was caught and sentenced to a lifetime of servitude. Researchers say the discrepancy in names is ...
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